Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Fool me once....

I have this pesky little problem. I seem to give people too many chances, and it ends up hurting me big time. It's happened with family, friends, past relationships. I just never seem to learn my lesson. J says it's because I have a big heart....And a small brain (teehee!) I don't know. I just know that I am through being taken advantage of.

My best friend and I have been best friends since we were in middle school. We went through everything together. In high school, she started dating a guy who didn't particularly like me, for what reason I don't know. I guess he didn't like any of my friend's friends because he forced her to shut them out of her life, and spend all of her time with him. Now, I'm not going to lie and say I wasn't a little bit guilty of doing this. I did the same thing with my ex. Not to that extreme though. I spent a substantially less amount of time with my friends, but still made time for them. He also cheated on her, emotionally and physically abused her...And was just not a good guy. And everyone knew it. Even her parents who begged her to stray away from him.

Eventually, she and I lost contact. I moved to Florida in 2007 and we didn't talk for a little over a year. Well, that's also a lie...Being the kind of friend I am...Even though she couldn't bother with me, I still made sure to call her and wish her a happy birthday...To which I got a "Thanks. Gotta go, with Jordan!" But after that, Nothing. Until one day my phone rang. "Hiiiii Ashley! It's me! Me and Jordan broke up. Booo hooo I'm so sad. I miss you, Oh, you're moving back to Maryland? Yay! We can hang out again!" And we did. For a few months things were just like they used to be. "We was like peeeeas and carrots Amanda and me!"

And then....She gave in and decided to get back together with her scumbag of an ex. Her phone calls became less and less. She started making up excuses to not hang out. One of my favorites was "Oh...Yeah...I can't hang out tonight....My mom's out and I have to stay home the cat." That one was a gem! And then after a few weeks, I stopped hearing from her all together. I moved on with my life, and without even telling her, moved back to Florida. Are you seeing a patern here?

6 months later, she finds me on facebook. She and the ex had broken up again (again...are you seeing a pattern) I was wary, but was in such a bad place emotionally with just breaking up with my boyfriend of 7 years and fixin to move back to Maryland again. I was happy to have my "best friend" back in my life.

When I moved home, she and I moved into my house together and were roomates. And shortly after, I met J. She HATED it. She hated that I was spending time with him, and not her 24/7. She tried her hardest to get me to break up with him. She wanted me all to herself. But eventually, she accepted that I had a boyfriend now, and even though I still made plenty of time for her, I was going to spend time with J too. She moved out, J moved in, and then she started dating her boyfriend.

Things were okay for a while. But then the calls became less again, the excuses came back (thankfully none as stupid as the cat) and before I knew it, I would go months without talking to her.

One night about a week ago, she called me up hysterically crying. I couldn't even understand what she was saying. I thought maybe someone had died or been in an accident so again, being the type of friend I am, I was really concerned. Turns out she and her boyfriend had just had a fight and she thought they were going to break up. She was going on and on about how much he treats her like crap and how sick of it she was. Drama queen. I gave her some friendly advice and she asked me if I wanted to go out to lunch with her tomorrow. I said sure, it was a good idea because she and I had a lot of stuff to talk about regarding our relationship. I was going to make sure if she was going to be back in my life, it was going to be for good. The next day I get a text asking if we could reschedule to the next day. Sure no problem. And of course, the next day I get a text saying "Sorry, going to have to reschedule again. I'll let you know when." Of course I never heard from her.

Well, tonight was the nail in the coffin. I decided to give it one last shot. It's been snowing buckets here and J will be out plowing all night. So I texted her and asked her if she would like to come over tonight and watch some movies, like the good old days. All I got back was "I'm with Chris." Well, I basically lost it on her and told her where to go. No more chances.

Honestly...I don't think she even cares. I know she doesn't because she had her immature boyfriend texting for her. Which tells me she never cared about our friendship period. And it speaks a lot about her character. I'm still so angry about it. I could say so many things about her, and believe you me, I really REALLY want to. There are things I know about her that her parents don't know. But I am taking the high road. She is an insignificant flea. And I am done. I have too many other sweet and caring friends out there, I won't waste my time on her anymore.

So Amanda...If you're reading this, I sincerely hope you are happy with what you have done with our relationship. All the times I went out of my way to be there for you, and you never even gave me a second thought. I wish you a lot of luck in adulthood, because you're going to need it. Maybe when you learn how to cook a meal, and do something besides stare at yourself in the mirror and talk about how beautiful you are and how men always hit on you, then you can call yourself an adult. Just remember...There was a time when even Chris couldn't stand you because of the way you acted. When the shit hits the fan, you're on your own now babe!

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  1. Hello! I haven't visited in a while, and I am sorry to find this sad story on here -- I feel so badly for you! If it makes you feel any better, this has happened to me too. I think it has probably happened to all of us. Well, except for the "Amandas" of this world -- they don't even realize what 'users' they are, unfortunately. They are too busy with thinking "ME, ME, ME!!!" Know what I mean? But you'd better not give your ex-friend another break! I think one should be kind, the good Lord wants us to be... BUT, the good Lord does NOT want us to be a doormat either. Well, you got it off of your chest, so now be happy again and have a good week. ;)

  2. Thanks for your sweet words Gloria! Yes, I have given her many chances and am through being a "doormat"! I have too many other blessings in my life to be thankful for! Thank you for stopping by!