Friday, May 28, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
May 2010- 35 lbs lighter! 195 lbs and feeling great!!
I still have a long way to go, but I'm damn proud! That dress is a size 11 people!!! I haven't fit into an 11 since my sophmore year of high school!
It CAN be done! You just need awesome support...Something I never had when I tried to lose weight before. J gave me the strength and the love and support I needed to do this. I'll never be able to thank him enough!
Monday, May 24, 2010
The wedding was BEAUTIFUL! But it did not go off without some drama!
First thing that happened was almost as soon as the bride got her hair done, the curls started to come out, even with the 30 lbs of hairspray. Her hair just cannot hold a curl. So she was beside herself. I Another bridesmaid and I fixed it though...thank God! And her hair looks gorgeous!
After we got our hair and makeup done, we went over to where the reception was being held just to finish up some last minute stuff. Jenna (the bride) had put out all the favors on the tables the night before. They were cute little seeds in a butterfly packaging. Well, someone, we don't know who, decided they REALLY wanted a whole lot of seeds and STOLE the favors off some of the tables! When Jenna discovered this...oh man....Lets just say I've never heard a bride sound like a sailor! But luckily we had some extras and replaced them. They were also reimbursed for the stolen ones.
Then as we started getting closer to the ceremony, Jennas fake eyelashes started falling off...and she had lost the glue. She started freaking out thinking she was going to look ridiculous in the pictures. Enter my knight in shining armor..J! He went 20 miles back into town to go to a CVS and buy some eyelash glue for Jenna! What other MALE guest at a wedding do you know that would do that??? It also started pouring rain after the ceremony and we were all trying to get some stuff out of the church and into the cars. J actually ran all the way down to the cabin where we got ready and helped load the car up! Again...He was a GUEST at this wedding. He went totally above and beyond for me, and the rest of the wedding party. Jenna, Dan, and their family were SO greatful. They kept telling me to NEVER let him go and we better be getting married soon!
The ceremony was beautiful! I got so nervous walking down the aisle, thinking I was going to trip, that I forgot to smile! I got to the end of the aisle and Jenna's mom was like "SMILE!!!!!!!!!" But I did major a couple of grins.
I kept looking over at J sitting in the pew during the ceremony. He looks so handsome, I just couldn't take my eyes off of him. He was in a blue dress shirt, black slacks, and a black and silver tie. He looked so good in that, I can't imagine what he'll look like in a tux whenever he and I get married! I'll probably faint while walking down the aisle!
The reception was a BLAST! The bride and groom got smashed, which was hysterical. Apparently, J is now the grooms new best friend, even though this was only their 2nd time meeting! Too funny! I'll have pictures soon!
Sunday was spent at my cousins house for a Confirmation party. So grown up! I love my cousins =) I truly believe along with some of my other family members, they are the only normal ones!
Today I started my first day of Housewife-dom! J left for work at his usualy 6:30 and I slept in till about 9. I got up and did the banking for both of us, went grocery shopping, got the Chili started, and am now taking a short break from the cleaning! So far so good!
I don't think J wants me to go back to work! He keeps saying how he makes more than enough money to cover all the bills, and how he likes me being home and being his little wife! As nice as that life sounds, I NEED to work. I love working, and any extra money will help!
Gotta get back to the cleaning and check on the chili...Smells delish!!!
Friday, May 21, 2010
I was "temporarily laid off" yesterday. I'm not worried about it one bit though. It was a shock at first, and I panicked for a split second, and then my boss explained things to me.
We're new to the area. The company has been around for a while and has been very VERY successful at it's main office in Pennsylvania. The office I'm in just opened in March. We got off to a kind of rough start opening in the winter time. And things just haven't picked up.
So yesterday my boss' boss called my desk and asked me how I was doing. I said fine, how are you? And he said "Well, I've been better". I knew at that moment what was coming.
He sounded like he wanted to cry quite honestly! But he told me "This is NOT a true lay off..Yes were putting it down on the paperwork that you're being laid off, but that's only so you can collect unemployment while you're not working here. In 3-4 weeks business SHOULD be a lot better and stronger and the second that happens we will bring you back on." He said he feels very confident that I won't be gone longer than a month. But you never know. I told him flat out "I love my job, I love working here, I love the people. But if it gets to be 2 or 3 months down the road, and you still haven't brought me back, I'm going to have to go somewhere else." He completely understood but said that probably wouldn't be an issue. *sigh of relief*.
So, I'm not worried. I'm going to have SOME income from unemployment, and I shouldn't be gone that long. To tell you the truth, the thing I was worried about most was J. I didn't want him to resent me or feel like I was taking advantage of him because most of the financial weight is going to be on his shoulders right now. I know all too well how it feels to be the only one working and constantly having to pay for everything yourself. I told him if he wanted to, he did not have to pay for anything, I could dip into my savings and pay for everything. But he wouldn't hear of it. What a trooper. I don't know how I'll ever thank him for being such a rock in my life.
So all of this happens the day I buy my new car! Perfect timing!
The bright side: I'll be a real true housewife! Well, sans the wife part...Housegirlfriend is more like it! The house will be spotless, and I'll have dinner on the table for J every night! Plus, I'm also thinking about using this time to finally go back to school. There is a certification course at FCC for Medical Administrative Assistant. That's got my name written all over it! They say when God closes one door, he opens another. So maybe this is my open door! We'll see!
This weekend is going to be crazy! I have to wake up at 5:30 am tomorrow to be a Jenna and Dan's house to pick up Angela at 6:30. We're due in Sharpsburg by 7:30 and then are off to get our hair and makeup done for the wedding at 2! Then Sunday J and I are going to my little cousins Confirmation party! This will be the first time J is meeting some of the members of my family, I know they will just love him!
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
With the hours J and I work, sometimes it's hard to cook a big meal starting at 8 o'clock at night. So this Crock-pot is going to do WONDERS!
Monday, May 17, 2010
Me in my First Communion dress
Daydreaming as usual
My sister and I on our horse, Murphy.
My dad with our Border Collie, Shelby, my Brother and my niece.
I am so glad, and touched that she sent me these. I know I have a bunch of pictures tucked away in boxes downstairs. I'm going to spend this next weekend going through them and seeing what I can find! I'm so glad I have my family back!
J and I have been spending a lot of time sitting out by my Grandmother's pool and getting in the hot tub. It's been so nice to just sit and relax with him. The pool was FREEZING but we got in anyway!
I will be picking up my car at the end of the week! I'm so excited! The car is just perfect for me and exactly what I was looking for!
On a sad note, J and I witnessed something pretty horrifying on Saturday. We went down to the local car dealership to give the guy my downpayment for the car. We had heard there had been a car accident on 15 N, which runs parallel to the dealership. We had no idea it actually occured right where the dealership was though. We parked the car and as we were getting out I said "Whenever I see an accident, I'm always paranoid that it's going to be someone I know". Well, we rounded the corner and saw the vehicles involved...J just stops and says "Oh my God...That's BH's truck!" BH is a friend of his family. Turns out BH wasn't driving, but his 18 year old son was. We ended up talking to one of the guys at the dealership who heard the accident. He said it sounded louder than any gunshot he's ever heard. He ran out to see what happened and just saw 2 bodies slumped over in the vehicle that was hit. What happened was, an elderly couple was crossing the highway, and misjudged the distance that BH's truck was...So they pulled out and BH's Son couldn't stop in time and T-boned them. The woman driving died instantly and the man in the passengers sit was air lifted to a hospital in Baltimore. It was so surreal to see the aftermath of this horrible accident. It still gives me chills thinking about it.
We spent Saturday night keeping my Mom company. She loves when we come over. I don't blame her...It's like living in a prison at my Grandmother's. She can't really leave her alone except to go to work. But, things seem to be working out better. My Grandmother has been on her best behavoir since my Mom came back. Hopefully it stays that way.
I was making them laugh telling them a funny story about my Ex MIL. I was telling them the story about how when we went to go pick up their Chihuahua, Whinnie...Ex's MIL's husband, who is now deaceased, was telling me how the only reason he was even letting her get this dog was because he felt bad for throwing their other chihuahua out the window! He used to be a horrible alcoholic. All these years, my ex MIL thought the dog had just slipped out of the car somehow and got lost in a snowstorm. Nope...He confided in me that the dog just wouldn't shut up and he tossed it out the window while she had run into a gas station! Now, don't get me wrong..That's a horrible thing to do! But I had to laugh because she was just so oblivious.
I was very close to her husband. He was the only one in that whole family who ever took my side and appreciated the things I did. He confided a lot of stuff in me. He used to tell me that he hated his marriage, but he only stayed with her because he knew she would never find anyone else. I do miss him very much. He used to tell me I deserved so much better than what I was getting out of my Ex...I know he'd be happy for me now!
Sunday we had a delicious dinner with J's Mini and Poppy! OMG it was goooooood! BBQ Ribs, baked beans, Salad, and cheesecake! I was so full I could hardly breath! It was worth the 5 lbs I must have put on!
Today I'm back at work, but only until 5! J is picking me up at the office and were heading to one of my best friends wedding rehearsal! I'm a bridesmaid =) I've never been in a wedding before, I'm kind of nervous. I just KNOW I'm going to trip while walking down the aisle. The wedding is on Saturday and J is actually wearing a tie! I'm so excited to see him all cleaned up. My little sophisticated redneck =)
I'll be sure to post lots of pictures for proof!
Friday, May 14, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
What I DO understand is that it CAN be a very painful and debilitating disease, and I'm not denying it's exsistance or "making fun" or anything. I understand this can be a controversial topic...But I'm a controversial girl.
I guess what I don't understand is the people who claim to be diagnosed with it but show no signs of it.
What sparked this is I was watching Hoarders: Burried Alive last night. A woman, who seemed the be in her early 40's claimed to have Fibro. Yet, one of the things that contributed to her hoarding was roaming around and shopping for hours on end at thrift stores, flea markets, etc... She claimed that whenever she would have a "flare-up" going out shopping made her feel better. Yet she could not work due to her Fibro and was on disability.
This is strikingly similar to a personal experience of mine. For almost 2 years, I supported my ex-fiance and his mother. I supported him because he got fired from Walmart and was too lazy and unmotivated to find another job. And I supported his mother because she was "diagnosed" with Fibro and just couldn't muster up the energry to sit at a desk for 8 hours...Which she did anyway at home. On the computer. But she too had NO troubles walking around a store for hours and hours. And yet everyone was expected to feel sorry for her.
Just a little tidbit of information...The Dr. that "diagnosed" her with it, just recently lost his medical licesnse for "diagnosing" patients with diseases they did not have, just so they could get pain meds and get disability payments.
This just boggles my mind. How does one justify these actions? I can truly understand the individuals who have a disease such as this, and are actually IN PAIN and continue to do what they need to do to help themselves. But I have zero tolerance for people who just expect things to be handed to them. Go cry to Obama if you want a handout, not a hand.
My dad was 68 years old. Had terminal cancer. He had 2/3rds of his tongue cut out, could not swallow his own saliva. He had to suction it out or spit into paper towels. He had a feeding tube which we had to feed him things like Ensure. He could not speak except through his treach. He went to work every.single.day up until 3 months before he passed away. He never even collected disability until then. He knew he had to provide for his family. And he knew if he just surrendered to the disease, that was it. He might as well have just shot himself.
Again, this isn't meant to be offensive to anyone. I happen to know people who have this disease and actually are affected by it so much that they honest to God can't work. It's just the people who use it as an excuse to get money from the goverment and to get out of working.
So if you DO have Fibromyalgia and you DO suffer everyday and you're reading this, don't give into the disease!! Fight to take your life back! Don't let it take over you!
Monday, May 10, 2010
J and I had a busy day starting with Lunch with my Mom, Aunt, and Grandmother. Now, J had a pretty rocky begining with my Grandmother. The first time they met, My Grandmother was screaming at everyone that they were being too loud and that we weren't welcome and just all this really nasty stuff. Suffice it to say that J was a little bit terrified of having lunch with her.
But to our pleasent surprise, she came downstairs in a cheery mood and even APOLOGIZED for the way she had acted 6 months ago when she first met J. So they formally introduced themselves and we just had the nicest time. My mom and Aunt both ADORE J. My Aunt even said "J can I take you come with me?! PLEASE!" HA! Sorry Auntie Lisa...He's mine!
After a yummy lunch, we came home....J hopped on the computer (what else is new?) and I started my pot of sauce for the Chicken Parmigiana that I was making for dinner with Mini and Poppy (J's grandparents). The one thing I did learn from my Ex's Mother (if you can even call her that..I don't think she knows how to be a mother) is how to make a damn good pot of sauce!
The sauce has to simmer for 2-3 hours so I started cleaning like a mad woman. I've come to really enjoy cleaning...J said "Hey, I like this new house-wife Ashley!" I said "Yeah except I'm not a house-wife...Wanna make an honest woman out of me?!" Ha of course I was joking. Someday, someday.
J says I live in "Fairy-tale Land" but I guess I kind of do. I mean, My Mom and Dad had such a wonderful, blessed marriage. Although it was cut too short ( they were only married 11 years before he passed) everyday was like their wedding day. My dad treated both of us like we were the most treasured things on this earth. I just grew up thinking that's what all marriages are like...it's what they all should be like. And I actually see a lot of my dad in J. Just certain things he does. For instance...Whenever my dad would bring home a pizza he would walk in the door and whistle this very particular whistle and say "Piiiiiiizzaaaa Maaaaan!". One day J came home with a pizza and whistled the EXACT whistle my dad used to do and said "Pizza's here!" I literally dropped the dish I was doing and froze. I had never even told J about this! He just did it! Not to mention, he has my Dad's eyes. My dad had the biggest, bluest eyes! And so does J. They make me swoon!
I know my dad would really like J. My dad was 21 years older than my mom. He was 57 when I was born. It makes me so sad...he used to tell my mom "I don't want to be walking my daughter down the aisle in a wheelchair." Truth is, I wish he was in a wheelchair, rather than not here at all.
Wow, this Mother's Day post turned into all about my Dad! But my Mom was/is so in love with him. I'm so glad they got to experience their love, even if only for a short while.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
J got a new phone and a new number because AT&T is the pitts! He never had service ANYWHERE and would end up throwing his phone. Poor phone. So he switched over to Verizon and went on a family plan with me.
His phone won't be delivered until this afternoon and his old phone has already been shut off. This means no calls or texts all day. Which makes both of our days even longer. Which is also the pitts.
I am in a particularly mushy lovey gooey mood today and just thought I would rave about J and what an amazing man he's turned out to be and tell the story of how we met. Everyone have their barf bags ready?
When I first met him and started realizing that I had feelings for him, I turned to my best friend and said "Well, I think he's more of a Mr. Right Now then a Mr. Right." I had just gotten out of a very stressful and rocky 7 year relationship. I wanted to be single for a while...Get things in my life sorted out before I started up another serious relationship. Apparently, God had other plans for me.
The first time I laid eyes on him was on Saturday September 26th 2009. I had just moved into my new home the day before. I had no furniture, no tv, no radio. Nothing. Amanda (My best friend) and I kept each other entertained. We invited our long time friend over, Steve, for a little new home celebration! Steve decided to bring along a few friends, namely, C (who is J's best friend and also Amandas boyfriend) and J.
I was in the shower when they arrived. I came downstairs and jokingly said "Who the hell are all these people in my house!?" And that's when I saw him. A very sexy blonde hair blue eyed man. And then he opened his mouth and out came a southernish country accent. BLECH!!!!!! Ew!! A redneck!!! In my house?!? I'm a Yankee!!! I'm originally from Philadelphia on the Main Line. I grew up HATING country rednecks. I hated country music, Everything country. But then he smiled at me. And I swooned (Are you guys sick to your stomach's yet?)
Amanda had pulled me off to the side and mentioned that she thought he was cute. She had been on the prowl for a new boyfriend so I decided to play matchmaker. Even though I was obviously attracted to this.....*gulp* redneck....I never imagined he would go for a girl like me. Amanda has natural beauty. She's GORGEOUS and men always flock to her. She's like a present day Scarlett O'hara. Me? Not so much...So I automatically assumed J would be drooling over her. But he wouldn't give her the time of day.
We chatted for a little...He and C eventually started coming to the house without Steve (At this point, I was not on speaking terms with Steve. He did some pretty nasty things to me and spread awful rumors about me). J and I talked more and more and the more we did that, the harder I started to fall for him. I had no clue he was even interested in me.
Enter Colorfest. The biggest event in my little town. Every Fall they have a big festival where streets get shut down and filled with vendors selling arts and crafts and things of that nature. People come from all over the WORLD to this event. Amanda, J and I decided to walk around and see the sites. Amanda had her little cousin with us. He's ooooh 13 I think? And VERY outspoken. We were taking a little rest sitting on the grass at the park and Amandas cousin goes "Hey! Ashley's a cougar! She's older than J and she's going after him!" Amanda busted out laughing, J looked at me....And I wanted to throw up. Was it that obvious that I liked him?! I was MORTIFIED. I wanted to cry. Now J was going to go running for the hills. But to my surprise he just smiled and laughed....We got up to continue walking and we walked side by side while Amanda and her cousin walked ahead of us. The conversation went like this:
J: So you like me huh?
Me: ......No. I don't know what he's talking about. Crazy kid.
J: Oh so you don't like me at all? Fine. I see how it is!"
Me: You're a redneck!! I don't like rednecks!
J: I'm not a Redneck. I'm a southern gentleman.
Me: Oooh is that what Rednecks are called these days?? If you're such a gentleman, then prove it.
J: Oh, I will. You'll find out.
We continuted walking and went back to my house.
We all hung out pretty late that night Amanda and C had already fallen asleep on the couch in the living room. J and I were in the kitchen listening to music on Amandas laptop. He put on a song on youtube that is one of my favorites! We discovered we liked pretty much all the same music. We were sitting across from each other and all of a sudden he reached over and grabbed my hand and held it. We just sat there, holding hands, listening to Classic Rock. And that was the moment I reliazed I was completely lost in him.
The next few weeks we spent every day together. But we weren't officially "together". he had some stuff going on and like I said, I wanted to take things slow and feel things out first. Finally on October 14 2009 he asked me to "be his girl" I of course said yes...And the rest is history!
We moved in together a month after we started dating. I was nervous at first. Especially of what people would think. I asked a good friend's advice. She and her FI moved in together after a few weeks... got engaged after 9 months. They are now getting married in 2 weeks and I'm a bridesmaid! They are perfect together. Anyway, I asked her what she thought of us living together and she said "Ashley, after what you've been through with your previous relationship, you need a little happiness in your life. And when you're with him, I've never seen someone light up so brightly. Go for it" And that was it. I stopped worrying about it and just enjoyed him being there with me. And I have enjoyed every moment of our life together for the last 7 months.
Sometimes I get a little worried. Because this relationship seems too good to be true. I really often wonder what I did in my life to deserve him? Not only is he amazing, but he has an amazing family who I absolutely love. *Hi Mini!* Is it because my previous relationship was spent financially supporting my Ex and his Mother who treated me like crap? Is this like a reward for dealing with that for years? I don't know. All I know is that I have been blessed. And I thank God everyday that J entered my life. Deep down in my soul, I believe that when God created J and I, he created us specially for each other, knowing one day we would find each other.
It's like the song "God Blessed the Broken Road" (Which is our song)
Every long lost dream
Led me to where you are
OTHERS WHO BROKE MY HEART
THEY WERE LIKE NORTHERN STARS
POINTING ME ON MY WAY
INTO YOUR LOVING ARMS
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
I love that bolded verse. I feel it was written for us. If I had never met my Ex and been through what I had been through, I never would have moved back to Maryland when I did and met J. It happened just so I could meet him.
To end this LOOOONG post (Sorry...I got carried away!) I end with another quote from a COUNTRY song that I love....
There is a God, how much proof do you need?
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
So I'm going to share a completely gross detail of my life. When I was growing up, after my Dad passed away and my Mom and I moved to Maryland, we didn't do so well for a long while. Mom couldn't find work except for little business and things like that. This meant no insurance.
I have lived here for 8 years....And have not had dental insurance at all. I have not seen a dentist in 8 years.
Don't get me wrong...I've always taken excellent care of my teeth. Brushed twice a day, probably could have flossed more but I did do it. Never even had a cavity in my whole life...Until now.
Now I have about 8 cavaties. Out of nowhere! And one of my back Molars is chipped. And it HURTS.
I finally have insurance now that I'm older and have a career, but I couldn't get my appointment until the end of this month! I have to live with this pain for a month?!?!
The pain is excruciating. It's starting with the chipped tooth and just radiating up my jawline and into my ear. The pain seems worse at night...Last night it was so bad I literally sobbed for a half hour.
I'm taking Aleeve right now. The bottle says not to take more than 3 pills in a 24 hours period.......Yeah...I'm taking an average of 6 a day to keep the pain away.
J has some Vicodin leftover from when he had surgery about 2 months ago. But I'm too afraid to take it cause I know it'll make me sick to my stomach. Plus, I have to drive too and from work everyday. I don't wanna be drugged up while I'm doing that.
I'm seriously ready to rip out my teeth. I always had such nice teeth. But my Dad had horrible teeth. He too always took good care of them, but he just had so many problems, and I fear I have picked that up from him.
My Dental insurance I have now is AMAZING and covers all oral surgery at 100% thank GOD! I know I'm going to need a couple of root canals. I dread the day this happens.
Monday, May 3, 2010
This weekend was so gorgeous out! On Saturday it was hot and humid and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. J's allergies have finally gone away, so we were able to get outside and do some stuff!
We went to his moms house and he dug out his old dirtbike (he used to race when he was younger) He hasn't ridden in a loooong time. He got on that thing and it was like watching a little kid on Christmas morning. He looked like he was just in his zone. And let me tell you....He looked so sexy on that thing...I think he was trying to impress me a little ;) Doin Wheelies and standing on the seat and riding. It sure worked!! I could watch him for HOURS on that. He just looked like he was having so much fun! It made me happy to see him so happy.
We got muddy!! J's friend came over and I got on the 4-wheeler with him while J was on the dirtbike....J looked at his friend and said "I'm gonna 'Rooster-tail' her...Set her up for it...." They would NOT tell me what this meant but I had a feeling I was going to get messy! J found the muddiest part of the pound and his friend pulled the 4-wheeler up beside it....J just started spinning the tires and mud flew ALL OVER ME!! I was covered!! It was all in my hair and down my shirt and just all over. I was laughing so hard. A few years ago, I would have been PISSED. but ever since I met J nothing makes me mad anymore...I'm just completely happy.
We took our "Son" (Our 6 month old pupp, KG) down to the river where we all went swimming! KG did so well for his first time in the water! He loved it!! This weekend was just a blast for everyone!
I have pictures to post, but I'm at work right now and don't want to upload the pics onto my work computer. I'll do it as soon as I get home!
So rule # 32...Enjoy the little things. Definitely one of the best rules there could ever be!
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Favorite picture of J and I EVER! True love =)
A, myself, and JO
And the group shot! Love all these people!