Thursday, August 26, 2010

Come one, Come all!

I've started a cooking blog! YAY!! I've been talking about it for a while now. But I have finally done it!

Check it out and follow me on over!

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Moving on and up, and letting go

Boy do I have a lot to talk about today...Where do I begin?

I'll begin with my Niece.

She just turned 13, and we have such a great relationship since we reconnected last summer. I've been able to be the Aunt that I always wanted to be! I knew, that eventually, she would want to know why I wasn't in her life for 10 years. And tonight, she finally asked that question.

I just found out, my brother divorced his wife, who is the reason I never got to know my Nieces. My Niece is pretty upset by the whole experience, and her family has been divided in 2. Her moms family is of course, taking her side, and me? Of course I have my Brother's back. So she finally asked me tonight. What could I say to her? I always told myself if would tell her the TRUTH if she ever asked. And so I did. She was pretty upset finding out all this information. But in the end, she understands. And I told her that it doesn't matter what happened in the past. All that matters is that we are in each other's lives now, and no one is going to separate us again. I truly feel so blessed to have her in my life. I'm so excited she feels the same way, and I can now watch her grow into a beautiful woman!

That's my moving on. Now for letting go.

I have a person in my life, who is just an amazing woman. She is my ex's brother's girlfriend. We'll call her R. She and I got very close over the last year because we have one of many things in common...We can't stand my ex's mother. Don't even get me started on her. This woman does not deserve to breathe the same air as the rest of us...For reasons SHE knows. She knows very well how she's screwed up her and her son's lives.

Anywho... R is very sick. Very sick. And has been for quite some time. After 2 years, she is finally getting the help she needs, thank God! She's getting major surgery on Thursday and I'm just worried sick about her. I wish I could be there for her. But she knows I'm there in spirit. So, if I can ask all ya'll to send good vibes and thoughts and prayers for her, that would be amazing!

Now, I don't talk to my ex...At all. I found out he's moving to NY on the 14th of September. Good for him. I also found out he has a girlfriend. Again, good for him. It took him a freaking YEAR to finally let me go...Up until about 3 weeks ago he would call me and txt me crying "please come back to me, I'm still in love with you, there will NEVER be another you!" Riiiight. I hate to say I told ya so, but.....

We had a dog together though. A sweet tiny little 3 lb Chihuahua named Lyric. I loved her so much but for financial reasons had to leave her behind until I could afford to have her shipped to me when I moved back home. Well, he was refusing to give her to me, and his mother, and I use that term losely, said the only way I could get her back was if I paid them for however long they were taking care of her. Yeah...You're a freaking crook. That's called extortion. So now I've come to find out that my Ex will not be keeping the dog...His mother is. This makes my blood boil like nothing else ever could. This woman robbed me blind while I was living with them, and now she's gotten my 800 dollar dog out of me too???!?! I could fight it. All her paperwork is still in my name, and I've already talked to the breeder who said she would be a witness for me. I could do it. But I'm not going to. I'm letting go. Yes, this kills me, and I know she is getting great pleasure out of it....But I'm letting go. I don't want any ties left to her or my ex. And Lyric would be a constant reminder. I know my life is so much better without them in it. And I know GOD has a special place for people like her. I'm letting go.

Moving up:

I am ECSTATIC to let you all know that


Just kidding! Gotcha ;)

I know ya'll are waiting for that announcement...Not yet though.

No, but I am going back to schoool!! HAAAAAALLELUJAH!!!!

I am soooo amazingly blessed that my mom has agreed to help me go back to school. Now I can REALLY get my life on track.

J and I have been fighting a lot lately, because I have been feeling incredibly guilty about him paying all the bills while I've been out of work. I've been very on edge and tense. I'm not used to being taken care of, it was always the other way around. And I had been starting to feel like HE was feeling like he was being taken advantage of.

So now, going back to school, I won't feel so crappy for being out of work, because I'm DOING SOMETHING WITH MY LIFE!!! Thank you God!!

I'm going to take this town by storm. I'm Ashley. I don't fail. I won't! Look out world, here I am!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, August 14, 2010

The 30 day Nightmare...I mean shred!

UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG I dont want to do this!!! WAHHHHHH!

But I have to.

See, I had told myself that in order to enjoy exercising, I needed to do something that kept me entertained. So I went out and bought this nifty Dancing with the Stars Salsa Dancing workout DVD. Well, I popped it in tonight all excited, and guess what?!?! I CAN'T DANCE!!! This was not a new discovery. I've always known that I couldn't dance. But I'm telling you, I can't even do a simple merengue! I looked like some awkward twisted old man trying to do the cha cha slide. Not pretty.

So I'm going back to hell....The 30 Day Shred. Oh Jillian, how I despise you! But I figure if there are women out there who weight 500 lbs and can do this, I can too!

So I'm trying. Again. *sigh*

In other news, we bought a new sofa and loveseat today! WOOO!!! A local furniture store was having a going out of business sale (Thank you, Obama) and the deals were AMAZING. We honestly just went in there to look around and see what we liked. We were in the market for a new sofa, but not to purchase today! But this deal was so amazing. We got both pieces for $899!!!! So we signed, and we pick it up on Tuesday, yippeee!!!

More exciting news...On Monday morning J is going in to register for his college classes!!! WAHOOO!! I'm so excited for him. He's going in for Criminal Justice. He was asked to come back and start his physical testing for the State Trooper program, but decided against it. If he were to go through all the training and actually become a Trooper, he would more than likely get stationed out in the Eastern part of the state. And that is not good. Both of our familes are here, and honestly we would not be able to afford to relocate right now. So he turned it down, is going through 2 years of school to get his degree and then will start applying for county police positions! I'm going to get one of those bumper stickers that says "Back off...I sleep next to a cop!"

Me? Still on the lookout for a job. The freaking local gas station won't even call me back. *sigh* I need to go back to school. Our local CC is offering a certification program that will be perfect for me! It's a Medical Administrative Specialist certification. I might be able to swing it, if I can just get a rinky dink little job. We shall see!

Alright...Time to do this damn work out...UGGGG. I wanna die already!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

A blog with actual meaning

Normally I just write about pretty mundane stuff. Things that just don't really mean anything to anyone. Just the goings on in my and J's life. But today I have something with actual meaning to say.

Politics. It brings out the absolute WORST in people when they don't agree. And I completley understand that, because I myself, feel very strongly about politics. I like politics. I am proud to say that I am Republican...Not Conservative..Republican. A lot of my views are actual pretty Liberal, like gay marriage. But I am a PROUD Republican.

Now, I was lucky enough to find someone like J who shares the same views as I do. In fact, one of the first things I asked J that night he came to my house was "Wait....Did you vote for Obama?" His response was HELL NO. And so I told him he could stay and was welcomed anytime.

Funny story actually.....Back around election time, I had read in the paper that ALL of the Obama signs in town were being stolen from people's yards, and they were trying to find the people who did it. This was like a huge story in our little one horse town. They talked about it on the radio, local news, papers, everything. They never did find out. But I know who it waaaaaaaaaas! J and his friends! So again, fate plays a part in my and J's relationship....I KNEW about him before I even knew him. But I digress.

I was reading an article yesterday about Bill O'reilly. I used to love him and his show. But he's just gotten so darn liberal that I just don't agree with anything he says anymore. This article was about how he is slamming Jennifer Anniston because she was promoting her new movie "The Switch" and encouraging single motherhood. Saying how there's nothing wrong with being a single mom and how women should not give up on having children just because they don't have a man in their life. Bill however, thinks this is "destructive to society." Really, Bill? He believes that my Jennifer Anniston making this comment, teenagers are going to want to go out and get pregnant and have the father absent. REALLY?! This honestly, hit home with me, and got my goat. So I sent him an email. He will probably never read it, but I've said my peace and I feel good about it. And here's the email.

Mr. Oreilly,

I was shocked today when I read an article about how you were arguing Jennifer Anniston's comments about single motherhood. I see nothing wrong with what she said. In today's society we have television shows like "Teen Mom' and "16 and Pregnant" that seem to glorify teenage pregnancy, a lot of times, without a father figure present. But are these shows really glorifying it? Teenagers have been having sex and getting pregnant long before these shows came around. And sure, the number of teenage pregnancies have continued to climb as the years go by, but are television and movies really to blame? Gas prices rise, music changes, styles change. Science and Technology evolve over the years. Things change. They always have, they always will. And sometimes, they don't change for the better.

I truly don't believe 1 actresses comment is going to make a teenager say "Hey! I think I'll go have a baby today!" Actually, I find her comment empowering. I believe that EVERYONE should have the opportunity to become a parent. Everyone. Sometimes, you just don't find that Mr./Mrs. Right. Does that mean you are not entitled to enjoy and experience the wonders of parenthood? We would all love to have that fairy tale ending. But it just doesn't happen for some. Some women only have a certain amount of time to work with. Fertility issues play a part too. And I think it's extremley inconsiderate and close-minded to put someone down for encouraging others to not give up their dream of becoming a parent, especially when you know not of any extenuating circumstances.

Maybe you should take this into consideration before you start judging.

Am I wrong here? Shouldn't everyone have the opportunity to be a parent if that is what they want?

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Babies, Kittens, and Automobiles!

My day as a mommy is over, I'm so sad! But it was such an amazing time, I'm so glad I got to experience it!
Though, of course, I would get little Edan on one of her "bad" nights as her mom called it. She was SUPER gassy after her first bottle, and it lasted for pretty much the whole day. She was SCREAMING, and I mean, screaming. Like, lip quivering and turning bright red. At first, I thought I was doing something wrong. I was freaking out thinking I was a bad mother. But then she stopped crying, smiled, farted, and started crying again. At that moment I knew it was painful gas. So I did all I could to comfort her. I didn't want to give her any of those gas medicines they make because I dont know how she would react to it, and I couldnt get a hold of her parents. Poor thing, I felt so bad. But I changed diapers and fed bottles like a pro! It felt so real, like she was my daughter. I actually at one point heard her crying in her pack n' play and said "Hold on Edan, Mommy's coming!......Oh...wait..." Josh said it just looked right. Like I was made to be holding babies. You know how women always say that don't want to be "barefoot, pregnant, with a baby on their hip and cooking in the kitchen"? Yeah, well, that sounds like my dream life! I can only hope I get to the point in my life where I'm able to juggle all those things ate once!
J's grandparents came over and played with her for a bit...It was a huge help because Mini, J's Grandmother (Marydon over @ ) gave me some awesome tips on how to relieve some of her gas, and it worked! She still had bad moments here and there, but overall she was a lot more comfortable. My mom came over too and held her, that was so sweet to see. My mom wants to be a "Nana" SO badly, it's not even funny.
Despite these moments of preciousness, the whole sleep deprivation thing was a PITA! Edan slept from about 11 pm till 2 am and then woke up screaming. She finallly drifted back off at 4:30 and woke me up again a little after 7 am. OY! Well, after she woke me up then, I stayed up, but she fell back asleep on my chest. Another bottle and diaper change later, it was time to get her back to her parents. It was sad leaving her....I felt like she should be coming back home with me! When I got home, I took a nap. I fell asleep with my laptop on my chest, and when I woke up I thought it was Edan. Still half asleep, I started to craddle it and support the laptops "head"! When I finally got the goo out of my eyes, I realized it was not a baby! I was still in mommy mode!!!!

I slept like a baby last night though! I was so tired....I never understood that saying..."Slept like a baby.." Cause, babies dont sleep all that great!
Me holding Edan, she was half asleep after a bottle!
Mini holding her, she was in heaven!

J holding her trying to comfort her, He didnt want his picture taken though!

My mom holding and feeding her!

Speaking of babies.....J and I have twin boys now!! Sweet little 8 week old twin kittens!!! Oh my lord we are in love! My friend is having a baby in September, and she just couldnt give the love and attention to these kittens that they deserve. She loved them so much and took really good care of them, she just has to put baby first. She she made a facebook post one night that she needed a good home for them. I saw this on a night that J and I were pretty emotionally fragile about a tragic even that occurred earlier in the day. So I saw this and slunk upstairs to J's office...

Me: Hiiiiiii babbbbby *smiley's shyly*

J: Hi....What do you want, and how much is it going to cost me? (he knows me so well)

Me: Have I told you lately how much I love and ADORE you? You're so good to me, and I know you would never deny me anything that I love...right?? *bats eyes*


Me: I'm glad you asked! Free! *deep breathe* Myfriendsgivingawayherlittlekittenscauseofthebabyandtheyneedagoodhomeandithinkitwouldbereallygoodforusespeciallyrightnowandtheyaresofreakingcuteyouhavenoideaandyousaidyouvebeenwantingakittenreallybadsoyoujusthavetosayyesssssssssss!

J:Yeah, sure!

Me:Really? No fight? Just like that! *starts happy dance*

J: But YOU have to clean the litter box. I'm not dealing with any cat sh!t.

So today we picked up Rocky and Rambo! And they are adjusting happily!

This is Rambo...He's a fiesty little fighter!

And this is Rocky....He's a tough little guy but such a lovey cuddler!

Brotherly love! This belongs on a greeting card!

Aren't they adorable???! I tell ya what's not adorable. My car that I was SOOOOO excited about. It's a POS and I could KILL that sleezy dealership that sold me this lemon!!!!

First of all...the air conditioning does not work. It could just be because it needs some freeon in it. And the e-break is broken and doesn't work. Now, I had a 60 day warranty on it that if I found anything wrong, I could take it in and as long as it was part of state inspection, they would fix it at no charge to me. the air conditioning didn't fall into this category, but the e-break did. But like a dummy, I never took it in. So my warranty is up. It's not a HUGE deal though. Summer is almost over anyway, and the e-break really isnt neccessary. But now, there is a HUGE problem that has arise. The back-up fan in the care will not shut off after I turn off the car. And it drains the battery and makes my car not start, so J pretty much has to jump start me anytime I want to go somewhere. J seems to think it's a problem the computer, but who knows. Today I went to CVS and the fan stayed on and drained my battery. Thank God J was home and just a few minutes away and came and jump started me. I am so ANGRY. I went to this dealership on my own and bought this car. I should have taken J with me like a smart person. The dealership saw a young girl, and jumped on the opportunity to take advantage of me. What sleeze balls. No wonder the car was such a reasonable price! Everything's busted! This fan thing is a huge problem, especially since I'm looking for a job. I can't be like "Oh yeah, sometimes I might be late to work or not come in because my car will die if I shut it off." I should have bought American.

So tomorrow I'm marching into that place and raising hell.....I may be a southern belle now, but piss me off, and you'll meet Ashley from South Philly REAL quick. Us philly girls don't mess around.

Alright, I'm done. Gosh I had a lot to say today. Kudos to you if you made it through this!