I has a belly.

So weird. I honestly didn't think I would be showing this soon. I can't decide yet if this is a good or bad thing! I thought being already overweight, I wouldn't show and actually look pregnant until I was at least 16-20 weeks. Oh but how wrong I was. I am not even 10 weeks yet and already my belly is hard and protruding. J keeps rubbing it and saying "how's my little man doing in there?" Yes we are convinced it is a boy! However, if it turns out to be a girl, we will be just as thrilled!

Not much else to report. Things have been pretty uneventful since that last scare. My symtpoms have calmed down a lot. I still have waves of nausea here and there, but nothing like I was getting. I do however, have a constant dry mouth and throat, which makes me super gaggy. I always have to be chewing on gum or have a sucking candy in my mouth or else it is gagville for me. It's especially unpleasent when I wake up in the middle of the night gagging and have to scramble for a mint or something.

I finally broke down and got a body pillow to help me sleep. Oh my lord it has helped so much!!! Although some nights not even the body pillow helps with how uncomfortable I am. But that just comes with the territory I guess!

Wish I had more news for ya'll! But no news is good news right?? Next appointment is on March 14th and I'll be a little over 11 weeks!! Woot! That will mean one more week until my chance of miscarriage goes down to less than 1%!!!!!!!!!!!! Praise God!

Hug your babies

Tonight I write this blog with such a heavy heart. I feel very blessed to be able to say that everything with me and my baby are just fine. But not everyone can say that. For one family, that is so far from the truth.

If you reading this right now, please take the time to go over to http://www.kandjstaats.blogspot.com/ and please leave your thoughts and prayers for this family in their time of need.

Last Thursday, their 4 month old little girl went home to God. I won't share the details, because it's not my place. It's such a personal thing. All I can say is that my heart hurts for this family. And all the kind words in the world just don't seem to do it justice.

We spend 9 months worrying and agonizing over bringing our children into this world healthy and happy. We never really stop to think about what happens after that. We worrying all through the first 12 weeks of pregnancy. After that we are under this illusion that nothing bad could happen after that, especially after we bring them into this world. This is such an eye opener. You really can't take anyone, or any day for granted.

So hug your babies today. Wheather they are 4 months, or 40 years. Hug your babies.

Our Little Valentine!

What I thought was sure to be a disastrous Valentines day, turned out to be one of the best days of my life.

Around 3:30 that morning, I woke up to pee as usual. Nothing out of the ordinary there. However, when I wiped, I checked the tp, as I always do....And there was a tiny, tiny blood clot. AH. I instantly burst into tears and ran into the bedroom to wake up J. Poor guy was so tired, I don't even think he remembers me doing that.

I didn't sleep the rest of the night, and watched the clock waiting for 8:30 to roll around to call my OB. There was no use in going to the ER and waiting around for hours...If I was having a miscarriage, there would be nothing they could do. I periodically went to the bathroom to keep checking for blood, and sure enough, I was having TONS of EWCM (egg white cervical mucus for you non TTC types) that was tinged pink. I was sure this was the beginning of the end. I was beside myself.

Finally 8:30 came as I phoned the OB. They told me to come in right away and they would squeeze me in between appointments. J and I hopped in the truck and off we went. We held hands the whole way, and I just closed my eyes and prayed.

Long story short...We got there and didn't have to wait very long before they took me back. They did a urine test and said it did pick up some blood in my urine. That freaked me out. Finally the Dr. came in and started his exam.

The first thing he said was that my uterus felt "nice and big like it should be for a growing uterus". Then he did the sonogram.

The machines they have in my OB office are really outdated, so the quality isn't real great. At first, all I could see was the Sac. I could see no sign of a baby. Instantly my mind went to Blighted Ovum. I was sure that is what he was going to say. But after fishing around in there for a few minutes he said "And right here is the heartbeat!" I was like HUH!?! Heartbeat?? I don't even see a baby!! But sure enough...He zoomed in a little and there it was....A tiny little blob with a fast little flicker right in the middle. He said the heartbeat was between 160-170 BPM and I was measuring at 7 weeks and 3 days!! I was in awe. I couldn't believe I was watching my child's heart beat inside of me. It all became real at that point.

Basically the reason for the bleeding was sometimes the cervix can get irritated and the blood can build up overnight and come out in a clot. Nothing to worry about. He did put me on Prometrium supplements though...Just in case. It never hurts to have a little extra help from the hormones! He also said that having so much EWCM is good! It was my mucus plug building up and sometimes, chunks of it can come off, but at this point, it regenerates itself.

So for now I am limited in what I can do. No exercise period. No walking up and down a lot of stairs, no lifting over 10 lbs, and Pelvic rest for 2-3 weeks. But hey, I will take it!!! Definitely worth getting to see my child.

J couldn't have been more proud. He just thought it was the coolest thing to see that heartbeat. It really was. I keep replaying it over and over again in my mind. I wish we had recorded it or something!

Next appointment is March 14th, provided I have no more problems! Hopefully next time, I can get some better pictures on a better machine...But for now....Introducing our little Valentine!!!!

Lots to update on!

What a week this has been! I've hardly even had the energy to log on, let alone update this thing.

Last Saturday was scary. J failed to remember that he had class on Saturday morning at 9 am. He thought he didn't go in until 5. God really does work in mysterious ways, because it's a good thing he didn't go to class. I ended up waking up to some bleeding and bad cramping. Of course, we both freaked and rushed off to the ER.

After being stuck with an IV by an incompetent nurse who couldn't seem to find my very clearly there veins, and having 10 vials of blood drawn (I actually donated 2 vials to the blood bank) J and I sat there waiting and praying. Finally, and ultrasound tech came in to do an internal.

Now, because it was an emergency ultrasound, I wasn't allowed to see anything or be told anything. I HATE this rule. I think it's stupid. If you see it for yourself, or if the DR. tells you some bad news, it's heartbreaking either way. Why make the patient suffer if there is nothing but good news to report?!

However, the Tech we had was WONDERFUL. J was sitting in a spot where he could see everything on the screen. I'm sure the tech knew that, but I don't think she cared. She also had the machine positioned where I could sort of see out of the corner of my eye. As she was doing the ultrasound, I looked over at J with tearful big eyes and gave him a look like "is there anything there??? Is there a sac?!" He looked at me with this big smile and nodded. I instantly felt relieved. At least there was a sac. I had mentioned to the tech that I was terrified of an ectopic pregnancy. So she said "Well, I can tell you this much....It's definitely in the uterus! No worries about an ectopic!" Sigh of relief number 2.

After that was finished and the tech left, I asked J if he saw the baby. He said he couldn't really see anything but the sac. Except at one point he said he saw a quick little blob flash on the screen toward the side of the sac. This had me worried a little bit...Like it could be a blighted ovum, which is something I have suffered before.

Finally, after about another hour, the Dr. came back in. I was terrified. He said my beta levels came back at 21,000!!! That was excellent!!! It was up from 1500 exactly 1 week prior. He also said the radiology report came back saying the ultrasound showed a 5 and a half week intrauterine pregnancy. It was bittersweet news. I thought I was 6 weeks and 1 day. It's not a huge difference though, so I wasn't worried too much. I also got to thinking, they MUST have seen a baby then. If there was no sign of an embryo or yolk sac or anything, the report would have mentioned something about that. I asked the Dr. a couple of questions, which he really couldn't answer because he only knew what the report told him. Stupid me didn't even think to ask to speak to the radiologist who read the ultrasound. That probably would have quelled a lot of fears. Hindsight is 20/20. He diagnosed this as a "threatened miscarriage" which really just means "You're bleeding, so we have to warn you". But he didn't think I really was in any danger based on my betas. He put me on bed and pelvic rest for a week.

Ever since then I have continued to have brown spotting, but no cramping aside from little twinges here and there. My OB said not to worry about any brown spotting, it was just old blood from my cervix probably being irritated somehow.

Morning sickness has not been kind to me. After barely eating or being able to keep anything down, I finally had my OB call in a script for Zofran. What a freaking God send that stuff is! And it doesn't make me drowsy unlike the Phenergan! My appetite has since returned since taking the zofran!

I have my next appointment on the 18th!! I am SO psyched for this!! I'll finally get my dating ultrasound to find out exactly how far along I am. If I go by what the hospital told me, I should be 7 weeks and 2 or 3 days. So we should definitely be able to see/hear a heartbeat!! I'm terrified at the same time. So terrified of being told the baby is still only measuring at 5 and a half weeks and that the pregnancy isn't progressing. Friday will tell the tale!

6 Weeks!

Yes, I have gone back in time! According to my more accurate calculations I am exactly 6 weeks today! This could also change though. I go in for my dating scan on the 18th! Woohoo!

How Far Along: 6 weeks

How Big is The Baby: The size of a sweetpea! Awww this just might be the new nickname =)

Total Weight Gain: Nothing yet.

Maternity Clothes: Not yet, but it's coming. My pants are already getting tighter because of the bloat

Stretch Marks: None besides the ones I already have

Sleep: AWFUL! Couldn't be worse. I don't sleep at all at night because of my Restless Leg Syndrome. I have had it since I was a little girl, but it's never bothered me THIS much until now. Usually the creepy crawly feeling will go away, but I've had it for the last 8 hours or so, and I can't sleep.

Movement: You mean besides gas?!

Food Cravings: No cravings, but still getting aversions.

What I Miss: Sleeping =(, I am no longer able to sleep on my stomach because of the bloat.

What I’m Looking Forward To: My first real ultrasound, hearing the heartbeat, growing a belly.

Milestones: My betas obviously! And morning sickness has officially started. BLECH!

Not much else to report folks. I go in for my next appointment on the 18th, and I'll get an ultrasound! I am trying to think positive thoughts, But I just have this nagging feeling something is going to go wrong. I am just psyching myself out, I'm sure. I'm sure everything will be fine! 2 more weeks!