Friday, March 23, 2012

Silky vs.Crunchy

It's not often that I do a controversial post like this. Usually if I do, it's about politics (Romney/Gingrich FTW!!!).

Silky and Crunchy are two relatively new terms to me. Crunchy I've known about since I got pregnant with Kenzie. But silky I just learned today. And it made me happy because I never actually knew what "type" of parent to call myself. Not that there should really be a type put to parenting. In all actuality, I feel you're either a good parent, or a lousy one. And these two terms by NO MEANS indicate good or lousy.

Crunchy: Typically "green", home/unmedicated natural birth, NO circumcision, cloth diapering, co-sleeping, home-made organic foods, delayed or NO vaccinations, Homeschooling, NO formula only breast, chemical-free everything, baby wearing, etc etc...

Silky: Hospital/medicated birth, routine circumcisions, Formula feeding, disposable diapers, crib sleeping, vaccinate on schedule, store-bough foods, CIO, etc...

I am a silky mama and I am damn proud of it. Just like a crunchy mom would be proud of what she is doing. But so often, us Silky moms get criticized and made to feel like we are bad parents because in their eyes, we are not doing what is best for our child.

I'm going to tackle a couple of topics that often come up in debates between Silky and Crunchy moms. These are just my personal opinions! My words is not God, so if you are a Crunchy mom and are reading this, you are absolutely free to feel how you want to feel and raise your child how you want! And I also realize that not ALL Crunchy mom feel this way.

Breastfeeding: Crunchy moms feel "breast is best" and if you don't breastfeed you are depriving your child of proper nutrients. I actually agree with this, to an extent. Breast IS best. But not every woman has the means to do so. In my case, I tried breastfeeding. Mackenzie wanted NOTHING to do with my boob. It got to the point where even the Lactation Consultant at the hospital told me to back off and just go for the bottle. After I left the hospital, I continued to try at home. I even tried pumping. I produced NO milk. The most I ever got out after 2 weeks of pumping was 1/2 an oz. Some women produce no milk. Some women have babies who refuse the boob at all costs. Maybe she had a double mastectomy. You don't know. So why look at a woman who is feeding her kid a bottle and automatically assume the worst?

C-sections: Oh my lord. I can't tell you how many times I've watched TV shows like A Baby Story, and One Born Every Minute, and there are women on there who absolutely refuse to have a C-section to the point where the child's life could be in danger. How is THAT good parenting? A person condoning that will tell you "it's selfish of you to just want to get it over with without having to put in the hard work, and it's safer for the child to have a natural birth". Yeah. It's selfish of YOU that you are putting YOUR beliefs before the safety of your child. There is one main goal we are striving towards during labor....Delivery of a HEALTHY baby. What does it matter HOW they come into the world, just as long as they get here at all? Get over it.

Circumcision: This is something I feel very strongly about. Crunchy moms say it's mutilation of the genitals. It's harmful, it's abuse, it hurts them, how could anyone do something sooooo horrible to their precious baby boy? Or that if you are hell-bent on doing it, you should wait until he is old enough to make the decision for himself. Ummmm? OUCH. First of all, they do it as a baby because your baby boy will not remember this. Ever. No matter how hard he tries. Furthermore, the people who seem to be the LOUDEST about their distaste for RIC, are also the ones who have their baby's ears pierced. Go figure. Hygiene is also an issue. Obviously you will teach your Son to pay extra attention down there, but nobody is perfect and it is inevitable that nooks and crannies will be missed allowing bacteria to collect and putting the child at a higher risk for infections. And really? Allowing him to make the choice on his own when he is older? Talk about traumatizing. Now, I don't know...Maybe when they are older the put him under anesthesia or administer a local. But either way, why would you want to remember something like that?

Vaccines: Now this one I will be a little judgey on. People who don't vaccinate piss me off. You don't want to subject your kid to the POSSIBLE and unlikely effects of vaccines, so it's okay for you to put every single person your child comes into contact with at risk for diseases and illnesses that otherwise could have been prevented by getting them vaccinated? It's not just for the child's well being, but for public safety reasons that vaccinations are administered. It's not all about YOU.

Food: The organic thing is cool. If that's what you want to feed your kids, then by all means...Go ahead. Nothing wrong with that. But some people take it too far. I saw someone on a message board I frequent say they took their kid to a birthday party and brought some pineapple chutney for her kid to eat instead of the birthday cake. One of the moms kind of questioned her about it and she handed her a pamphlet on the dangers of red dye # 5. First of all...Who the hell carries around pamphlets on that kind of stuff? And second...It's a piece of cake. Your child is entitled to enjoy a piece of cake now and again. It's not a BFD. It actually pissed me off to read that.

So basically to sum this all up- I just can't stand when parents keep their kids in these little bubbles. And I feel that is what a lot of Crunchy parents do (Again, not ALL). When I was a kid, we got to explore, and be adventurous. We got to eat so much cake that we threw up from too many sweets. And we learned to not do it again. We scraped our knees, we watched cartoons all morning on Saturday's, we ate the super overly-processed frozen kid tv dinners. And we survived. My daughter will too.

So I am proud to say I am a formula feeding, disposable diaper using, whiskey on the gums for teething, vaccinating so YOUR kid doesn't get sick, Silky mama!


  1. Wow, I have a name for my parenting now! Thanks. I'd never heard of silky before. I didn't do the CIO or the whiskey on the gums (mainly because I was afraid my kid would have the same reaction I did the one time my mom tried it - up ALL night long, not crying but not sleeping either). I'm proud to have kids who were formula fed, disposible diapered, circumcised (just the boy) and are healthy, vaccinated, happy, outdoor play loving kiddos who aren't afraid to get dirty, eat a piece of cake or drink from the hose.

  2. Hi Paula! Thanks for stopping by my blog! I'm glad this entry was helpful for you. I know when I found the term "Silk Mom" I was so excited to know that there is an entire community of us! There is NO wrong way to parent (unless you are putting your child in danger) and I just wish we would stop being looked down upon!

  3. What a sad and uneducated article. Hopefully one day you will "know better so you are able to do better" but some people never learn.

  4. Chacaloca- The only sad thing I see here, is you. A person who is so close-minded and judgmental that they shun and shame someone who has different views on parenting than they do. I don't need to "do better", because I do my best as it is. Maybe you need to do these things to make yourself feel like a better parent, but I don't. Thanks for stopping by =)

  5. I can see how you have been affected by people on both end of the spectrum. I think that it is to each their own. I can not call myself Crunchy or Silky. I have all hospital birth's. Not because I want to but because I have to. (health issues) I have circumcised both of my boys but have decided that if I do ever have another boy I most likely will not for him. After doing an ample amount of research I have decided to that the health risk would outweigh the benefits. If I did decide to latter it would not be at birth it would most likely be a week or so after birth (once again after research I have found that this is safer). I am having my 7th baby in December and plan to cloth diaper for the first time ever. This is not because I feel the need to "go green" but because I feel the need to save some green. (kindda like duh.... with 7 children I have to figure a way to save some green...) I don't have an issue if you decide to co-sleep with your baby or not. For me some nights I co-sleep and others baby sleeps in a bed of their own. As far as home-made organic food.... well, it is a nice thought and I enjoy eating that way when I have the opportunity to, but reality is most likely never going to happen. NOW this one is the one that sorta made me want to scream when I read it! The arrogant and ignorant statement about vaccines... "You don't want to subject your kid to the POSSIBLE and unlikely effects of vaccines, so it's okay for you to put every single person your child comes into contact with at risk for diseases and illnesses that otherwise could have been prevented by getting them vaccinated?" If vaccines work the way you are told they do then why the HELL does it matter if my kid is vaccinated or not? Really? Read up on this one dear. The ignorance in this statement was ridiculous. The way the vaccine is supposed to work is that once your child is vaccinated their body uses that fake immunity that was pumped into them to fight off the sickness. That the "fake" immunity is actually more powerful then the "real" one. More elderly are contracting shingles because they never had a chance to build up a natural immunity to chicken pox. If a child has chicken pox and is regularly exposed to the virus then the body continues to build that natural immunity to the Chicken Pox and that immunity will help them fight off Shingles as an adult. Anyways, back to the point, if your child's "fake" immunity is supposed to be stronger then a natural immunity why would it matter if my child is not vaccinated? I have a very weak immune system. I was vaccinated for every thing possible as a child. I had 3 cases of mild chicken pox and 1 sever case of shingles as an adult and I have also contracted whopping cough as an adult even after being vaccinated. My child were even around mom after she contracted whooping cough and yet none of them caught it. Better yet I caught it from a child who had been vaccinated. So how is vaccines supposed to work again? My vaccinated child is putting your vaccinated one at risk? Really? Next, homeschooling.... I home-school, not because I feel that it is the only way, but because it is the best way for my children. As a matter of fact some of my kids were previously public schooled, but then we moved to a less then desirable school district and we decided that it was best for our children to not attend school here. If we move again then perhaps I will decided to public school again. I could keep going, but it seems like you have lumped people who feel a certain way on things into one group..... BTW Breast is the best, but if there are issues that prevent you from breast feeding then go on an formula feed. And what is your issue with baby wearing? SO what if I want to carry my baby on my chest and you want to push them in a stroller?

  6. @Lara- Perhaps you should brush up on your reading comprehension skills. Where did I EVER say that I had anything against baby-wearing?? All I said was baby-wearing is something crunchy moms tend to do. I don't care if you want to baby-wear or push your kid in a stroller. You do what works for you. That is the whole point of this. You do it your way, and I'll do it my way. But that doesn't mean I can't disagree with certain things crunchy parents tend to practice....Like the non-vaccinating. What if your child who for arguments sake had Hepatitis B were to come into contact with an infant who had yet to receive their vaccine? The results could be catastrophic and fatal.

    That being said....You would not see me making videos, or standing in a protest to FORCE people to vaccinate their children. You do what you wanna do and if your kid gets someone else seriously ill, that's on you, not me. However, you see all the time people shoving their opinion of non-vaccinating down everyone's throat.