I promised myself I wouldn't be making any wedding updates or countdowns during the duration of our engagement. Mainly because I didn't want to jinx anything. But also because this isn't supposed to feel like a wedding. I don't even like calling it a wedding, but I really don't know what else to call it. "A celebration of love" just sounds way too cheesy.
9 weeks, people. When we get past the 4 week mark, I think I'll be able to breathe a little easier. But honestly, I have no bad feelings. This time last year, despite everything being seemingly okay, I was still freaking out. I was dreading our "big day". All the planning and executing it all just right and who sits where, and who enters at what time, and at what point during the processional did this person need to start walking at this pace....It was a nightmare. There is none of that this time. Although, our little 15 people event has grown substantially. But that is mainly because some broken relationships have been mended, and with that, comes more important people back in our lives. I don't mind at all. The more, the merrier I say at this point!
The plan for the day is this- Short and sweet ceremony in J's mom's back field. "I do, I do...You may now kiss your bride...." Done. A good friend of ours who does photography as a hobby and is brilliant, has agreed to take pictures for us. What an angel! So we will be having professional photography. We are doing picnic style food, all homemade. For music, we will be hooking up our ipod to the speakers J's mom has surrounding her property. No DJ needed! Another good friend of ours is a baker and cake decorator, so she is doing the cake for us. So basically it's just food, drinks, music, and a big bonfire to top off the night. I found a pretty ivory lace dress at DEB, it's a high-low style which is exactly what I wanted. I'll be wearing Cowboy boots with it. Cliche? Maybe...But it looks good! I don't care what Josh wears lol. Honestly, at this point, a tux is way too formal. He could come in jeans and I wouldn't care. Same goes for the guests. As long as everyone is comfortable and having a good time.
It's crazy how things change. I used to be one of those people who would scrunch up my nose and roll my eyes at the prospect of someone wearing anything but a gown and a tuxedo to a wedding. I saw a wedding where the groom wore jeans, a flannel shirt, and a cowboy hat and I thought "Oh my God, how trashy!" Granted....The couple getting married had known each other for about 5 minutes and were pretty undesirable people. But who am I to judge? It's really not about the day.
When J asked me to marry him again, I truly just wanted to go to the Courthouse and not have anyone involved. Just do it quietly and tell everyone later. He knew better though. So we compromised on this. And it's working out beautifully. We are BOTH so excited, and we can feel the excitement in each other. Which is something that is very different from last time.
That's not to say our relationship has been all sunshine and rainbows since we got back together. We have had our moments. But we have learned how to get past it, instead of dwelling on it and using it later on in another fight. Fighting is inevitable. It's something that will always happen. But at least we know how to "fight fair" and effectively.
I'm sure there are people out there who are rooting for this to fail. I guess for juicy gossip and drama. Hey, I like drama as much as the next person. People who say they don't like drama are liars. You like it. You just don't like it when it's centered around you. But, you can't be picky, and you have to be able to take the heat if you want to stay in the kitchen.
Only 5 weeks until we get to the 4 week mark. History doesn't always have to repeat itself.
~ Merry Christmas To You & Your Family ~
3 years ago