Well, there is not much else to say except that I needed at least 1200 to be considered "doubling every 48 hours." Well, I didn't get 1200.
I got 15 freaking 00!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1500!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GAH!
The NP said "That is absolutely perfect and congratulations on a healthy pregnancy!" I of course, started bawling.
I feel so blessed to even have made it this far.
Grow my little butterfly, grow!!
Today has been one hell of an emotional rollercoaster. This whole pregnancy has, and I'm only 5 weeks!
This morning I went in for my second beta. When I got there, I asked the receptionist for my results of the first. She looked it up and says "Your first one came back a 6." This baffled me. A FREAKING 6? What the heck does that even mean. One of the nurses came over and explained that it was in the "normal range" but a lower number could mean an ectopic pregnancy, and to wait until Monday to see if the numbers doubled.
Needless to say I spent the rest of the day sobbing, cursing, and sleeping away the pain. I was convinced I had already, or was about to lose this baby.
5:30- My phone rings. It's the sweet NP who did my exam on me. She apologized for not being able to speak with me when I was there, things were hectic and she was running around like crazy. She also apologized for the way the nurse had explained things to me. She said she has walked by while she was explaining and saw the sheer look of terror on my face. Turns out...That pesky little 6? That was the result for the qualitative test. That's just to check if I am pregnant. Anything above a 4 is pregnant! She then went on to explain that my ACTUAL beta level was.............
673!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I started bawling right on the phone and asked if that was good. Her exact words? "That's an excellent number and exactly where you should be for being about 5 weeks pregnant! As long as we hit close to 1200 on Monday, we are Golden!"
I sobbed with relief. I was so happy that she had gone out of her way to call me, FROM HER HOME, because she realized how worried I must have been.
She also explained that the more than likely reason we saw nothing at the ultrasound on Wednesday was because for anything, even a gestational sac to show up, your HCG level needs to be at least 1000. So by the time I go for my next appointment (2/23) we should see a little baby and a heartbeat!!
So today has been like a trip to Hershey Park...Only without the yummy chocolate. I'll be so glad when I am out of the first trimester! But I am still pregnant, and my numbers say baby is healthy! Praise God!
Well today was much more scary then I had anticipated. OY what a day.
First of all...It started snowing around 3 am. J got called out to go work around 4 so I was devastated thinking he wasn't going to be able to make it to the appointment...If my appointment was even still on. For all I knew, they could close down the office for snow!
But thankfully, J was able to take time off to take me, and the office remained opened.
They did a urine test. Positive, of course. They asked me a bazillion questions. They asked me how I was feeling. They did a pelvix exam and the dr said my cervix "feels very pregnant and long, just like it should be!" phew.
On to the scary part. The ultrasound. They did an internal, and being 6 weeks, I was fully expecting to see a sac with a tiny little speck in it. Nope. Nothing. Not even a sac. The most horrible words I heard were "I'm not seeing any sign of pregnancy from this ultrasound." WHAT?!?!?!! You mean my fears came true??!? Every single effing test I took was a false positive and I'm not really pregnant?!?!? I wanted to die.
So she suggested that I have a beta draw done today, and friday to see if my numbers are rising. If they are, it could mean 1 of 2 things. 1- I'm not quite as far along as I thought, and it may just be too early to see anything. Or 2- Ectopic pregnancy. Now, if the numbers don't rise and double...basically it means impending miscarriage or I have already miscarried. However....The Dr said she really truly believes it is just too early, what with my PCOS making me have irregular cycles and all. She is highly doubtful of an ectopic since the cramps I have been experiencing are not painful, and I have no bleeding whatsoever. She also said that my uterine lining was VERY thick, indicating that it is getting ready to "create a nest" for baby. She was very reassuring of the fact that it was just too soon. Of course, I didn't believe this.
I sobbed the whole way home. I was, and still partially am convinced that all of this was too good to be true and I will lose this baby, if I haven't already. But...A couple of my friends who have had kids told me they went through this same thing. Saw nothing early on, not even a sac, then a few weeks later, BAM! There was baby! So I am still hopeful that this could work out!
I'll go back in on Friday for my second beta. Then as long as the numbers look good, in a few weeks to a month, I'll get another U/S done to see if there is anything there. Please God, let there be something there.
So for now, I'm still pregnant, still worried sick. This is going to be a loooong few weeks.
You know how when you were little, and it was the night before your birthday, or Christmas, or the first day of school, and you couldn't sleep?? Yeah, that is totally me right now.
Tomorrow is my first prenatal visit! It was scheduled for Thursday but we are about to get a big snow storm and I wanted to get in before it hit! So I go in at 9 am!
I'm so excited I could jump up and down, and so nervous, I could throw up. A million things could go wrong tomorrow. My whole world could come crashing down again...I have never had a successful first appointment. The cramping I have been experiencing doesn't help. All my mind is swirling around is Ectopic Pregnancy
Today I started getting tiny little sharp pains on my left side, that kinda started going into my back too. The pain wasn't bad at all. More an annoyance then an actual pain really. But the fact that it was concentrated on one side has me TERRIFIED. The shred of hope is that I am extremely gassy tonight and can feel the gas bubbles moving in my tummy. So I am thinking maybe what I am feeling is some kind of gas pain. I pray it is.
J, like his Grandmother, gets these feelings of when something big is about to happen. Both he, and his Grandmother, knew I was pregnant before I did. J kept telling me to take a test. And when we called to tell his Grandmother, she answered with an excited "Oh, I know! I've already told you Grandfather!" But they also get these feelings when something terrible is about to happen. Maybe J is just trying to calm me, but he says he is getting nothing but good feelings about tomorrow. I also had a dream the other night that we got an U/S and everything looked beautiful and perfect. Oh lord, if that is the case tomorrow I will be so thankful, I don't even know what I'll do.
As far as symptoms go, I have them a-plenty! And dark tests too! Yes, I am crazy test lady who has taken several tests every single day since I first found out, just to make sure they are still positive. This mornings was the darkest yet! Very reassuring. New symptoms: itchy nipples!! Yikes! That hit me whilst perusing the baby aisle at Target. I am finally getting the exhaustion that all pregnant women complain about. Although, it would be nice if it could hit me right now when I need to sleep, instead of during the day!
So that is basically it! I doubt I will sleep tonight. I am praying to the good lord that everything looks good tomorrow. I have wanted this for so long, and everyone is SO happy for us. Please God, let us see a healthy baby tomorrow.
How Far Along: 5 weeks and 3 days
How Big is The Baby: The size of an Appleseed!
Total Weight Gain: I've lost 5 lbs. Due to having surgery on my mouth and being sick
Maternity Clothes: Not yet, can't wait!
Stretch Marks: None besides the ones I already have
Sleep: Tired during the day. I end up conking out about 9 or 10 at night but am always woken up around 3 with back pain and having to pee. I can never get back to sleep till around 6 or 7
Movement: Too early, wish it wasn't so I could have some reassurance
Food Cravings: Nothing really, but I am having aversions
What I Miss: Sleeping through the night, but I guess I'll have to get used to that!
What I’m Looking Forward To: Hearing the heartbeat (Hopefully on Thursday!), watching my belly grown, finding out the gender, meeting my son or daughter.
Milestones: Getting to 5 weeks and 3 days. Assuming everything looks good on Thursday, this will officially be the longest I have ever been pregnant!
Completely shocked, but excited are we!
I had an inkling I might be pregnant. My period was late (which really isnt unusual because of the PCOS) my boobs were so sore I couldn't wear a bra half the time, and I had been getting this strange fluttering and jumping in my uterus area. So I took a test. Now, I was wary at first because I picked up the test from the dollar store and it came with 2 tests. The first one I took, I guess I pee'd on too much or too little because it was inconclusive. No control line showed up. The second one I took around 9 at night after holding my pee, and got a strong positive! I wasn't sure though....I mean...the first test had been faulty...Maybe this one was as well?
So I went to sleep, woke up at 2:30 am with back pain and having to pee really bad (another sign...I have NEVER had to wake up in the middle of the night to pee) so I decided I needed to know FOR SURE. I Went to the 24 hour store up the road and bought a first response, and a digital. I took the first response first....hmmm..... no line was showing up...Yep, I knew it...Test was faulty. But I took the digital too just in case... By the time I had peed on that stick, I looked back at the FR and there was a light line! Noticeable, but light! Then I looked back at the digital and saw the word "Pregnant" I nearly fainted!!!
J is nervous but excited. As am I. This isnt something we were planning for right now, but possibly a year or so down the road. But, it was in God's plan for us to be parents now! I'm hoping and praying this is a sticky little butterfly (We are calling the baby butterfly because of all the fluttering it's causing in my uterus!) and that we do not have to go through another horrible miscarriage. But, I have a good feeling about this. I *feel* pregnant, where as last time, I did not.
I have wanted and prayed for this for so long...Maybe not right at this very moment, but I have prayed to God to one day bless me with a child. And God listened. We are over the moon excited!
And for those of you who are friends with us on facebook...Please refrain from saying anything just yet. We haven't told everyone in the family yet as we are waiting until after the appointment which is on Thursday the 27th!
Will post details on Drs. Appointments and such when I get them! I can't believe I am saying this, but...This is now a Pregnancy blog. GAHHHH! Praise God!
I have this pesky little problem. I seem to give people too many chances, and it ends up hurting me big time. It's happened with family, friends, past relationships. I just never seem to learn my lesson. J says it's because I have a big heart....And a small brain (teehee!) I don't know. I just know that I am through being taken advantage of.
My best friend and I have been best friends since we were in middle school. We went through everything together. In high school, she started dating a guy who didn't particularly like me, for what reason I don't know. I guess he didn't like any of my friend's friends because he forced her to shut them out of her life, and spend all of her time with him. Now, I'm not going to lie and say I wasn't a little bit guilty of doing this. I did the same thing with my ex. Not to that extreme though. I spent a substantially less amount of time with my friends, but still made time for them. He also cheated on her, emotionally and physically abused her...And was just not a good guy. And everyone knew it. Even her parents who begged her to stray away from him.
Eventually, she and I lost contact. I moved to Florida in 2007 and we didn't talk for a little over a year. Well, that's also a lie...Being the kind of friend I am...Even though she couldn't bother with me, I still made sure to call her and wish her a happy birthday...To which I got a "Thanks. Gotta go, with Jordan!" But after that, Nothing. Until one day my phone rang. "Hiiiii Ashley! It's me! Me and Jordan broke up. Booo hooo I'm so sad. I miss you, Oh, you're moving back to Maryland? Yay! We can hang out again!" And we did. For a few months things were just like they used to be. "We was like peeeeas and carrots Amanda and me!"
And then....She gave in and decided to get back together with her scumbag of an ex. Her phone calls became less and less. She started making up excuses to not hang out. One of my favorites was "Oh...Yeah...I can't hang out tonight....My mom's out and I have to stay home and...uh....watch the cat." That one was a gem! And then after a few weeks, I stopped hearing from her all together. I moved on with my life, and without even telling her, moved back to Florida. Are you seeing a patern here?
6 months later, she finds me on facebook. She and the ex had broken up again (again...are you seeing a pattern) I was wary, but was in such a bad place emotionally with just breaking up with my boyfriend of 7 years and fixin to move back to Maryland again. I was happy to have my "best friend" back in my life.
When I moved home, she and I moved into my house together and were roomates. And shortly after, I met J. She HATED it. She hated that I was spending time with him, and not her 24/7. She tried her hardest to get me to break up with him. She wanted me all to herself. But eventually, she accepted that I had a boyfriend now, and even though I still made plenty of time for her, I was going to spend time with J too. She moved out, J moved in, and then she started dating her boyfriend.
Things were okay for a while. But then the calls became less again, the excuses came back (thankfully none as stupid as the cat) and before I knew it, I would go months without talking to her.
One night about a week ago, she called me up hysterically crying. I couldn't even understand what she was saying. I thought maybe someone had died or been in an accident so again, being the type of friend I am, I was really concerned. Turns out she and her boyfriend had just had a fight and she thought they were going to break up. She was going on and on about how much he treats her like crap and how sick of it she was. Drama queen. I gave her some friendly advice and she asked me if I wanted to go out to lunch with her tomorrow. I said sure, it was a good idea because she and I had a lot of stuff to talk about regarding our relationship. I was going to make sure if she was going to be back in my life, it was going to be for good. The next day I get a text asking if we could reschedule to the next day. Sure no problem. And of course, the next day I get a text saying "Sorry, going to have to reschedule again. I'll let you know when." Of course I never heard from her.
Well, tonight was the nail in the coffin. I decided to give it one last shot. It's been snowing buckets here and J will be out plowing all night. So I texted her and asked her if she would like to come over tonight and watch some movies, like the good old days. All I got back was "I'm with Chris." Well, I basically lost it on her and told her where to go. No more chances.
Honestly...I don't think she even cares. I know she doesn't because she had her immature boyfriend texting for her. Which tells me she never cared about our friendship period. And it speaks a lot about her character. I'm still so angry about it. I could say so many things about her, and believe you me, I really REALLY want to. There are things I know about her that her parents don't know. But I am taking the high road. She is an insignificant flea. And I am done. I have too many other sweet and caring friends out there, I won't waste my time on her anymore.
So Amanda...If you're reading this, I sincerely hope you are happy with what you have done with our relationship. All the times I went out of my way to be there for you, and you never even gave me a second thought. I wish you a lot of luck in adulthood, because you're going to need it. Maybe when you learn how to cook a meal, and do something besides stare at yourself in the mirror and talk about how beautiful you are and how men always hit on you, then you can call yourself an adult. Just remember...There was a time when even Chris couldn't stand you because of the way you acted. When the shit hits the fan, you're on your own now babe!
Posts
All Comments
