It's happening!

I'd like to share some pictures with you....

 These pictures are from when I was at my thinnest.....About 125-130 lbs. This was in 2003.

 This is me about 7 years into my bad relationship, living in Florida...As you can see, I was quite heavy (230 lbs) looking pretty depressed and the Florida heat had not been kind to my skin!

 And this was me about 6 months after meeting J. He inspired me so much and I dropped 40 lbs!!

Then I lost my job. And then I got pregnant and had a baby. And now I am back to where I started + 10 lbs.

I am 241 lbs in this picture.

**Picture should say 241 lbs, not 141!!

As you can see, I don't even look like the same person. Not at all.

I mentioned a few blogs back that I was about to undergo some big changes, and I am finally ready to share them!

I have started the HCG diet. Yes. It's an extreme diet. YES it is COMPLETELY safe and has been discussed with my doctor. It's what I need. It's structured, it's strict, it does not allow for mistakes or cheating. It's WORKING. 

Today I am on day 6 of the very low calorie diet (VLCD). 500 calories a day which basically boils down to 2 fruits, 2 veggies, and 2 proteins. NO sugar or sugar substitutes besides Stevia. NO dairy. NO carbs like breads and pasta. The only fruits I'm allowed are apples, oranges, strawberries and grapefruit. The only proteins I'm allowed are chicken breast, fresh white fish, steak, very lean ground beef (I use turkey), and the veggies I'm allowed are pretty extensive but I only like a select few. Basically broccoli, cauliflower, celery, lettuce and cucumbers. NO carrots, corn, beets or potato. I am only allowed 3.5 oz of the meats and the veggies twice a day. I take 10 drops of the HCG 3 times a day. (tomorrow I will be trying 8 drops 3x a day. I have been extremely hungry and I should not be. This can sometimes be caused by taking too much HCG. So I am adjusting my dosage to see if that helps control my hunger.)

For the first two days I had to gorge myself on anything and everything. I had to gain weight and store up fat since my body was going to be living off of it for the next few months. I gained a couple pounds which put me at my starting weight of 141 lbs. After 6 days of the VLCD, I am happy to report that I am down 5 lbs! (And that is with some cheating!).

As I said, I did cheat a little. My cravings and habits have been pretty hard to kick. I have found myself late at night munching on a couple of cheese and crackers. I also had a little "emergency stash" of sugar free chocolate that I would sneak in if I really was craving something sweet. I truly believe this has hurt me, and had I not been cheating I would have lost a lot more. After getting some awesome support and tips from a great support group, I did something I didn't think I would ever have the strength to do...I threw away perfectly good, unopened bags of chocolate! NO MORE CHEATING!

It's been hard. The cravings are so strong. But I know that will fade eventually. I just keep looking at my old pictures, and thinking about how awesome it will be to look like that again! I deserve this...J deserves this, and Mackenzie deserves a healthy mom! It's happening!! Lord, give me strength!