Impatient

I hate waiting. I hate when plans are tentative and I don't know when something is going to happen. Nothing feeds my anxiety more then plans not being pinned down, and everything being up in the air.

We are still in this freaking house. UGH. We have nooooo clue when we are moving now. J's parents friend who is currently living there, is waiting for his house to be ready. He's going through a divorce, and his ex-wife is moving out of their house. She was supposed to be moving into her new place on the 15th, but apparently the place is a real dump and not even liveable at this point. WTF??? So now my Mom is waiting on us, because he is waiting on her, and we are waiting on him. God only knows when the Ex will be in her new place. So now we are just waiting. House torn apart, boxes packed, anxiety at an all time high.

It's a good thing I didn't have our utilities set to be shut off at a certain date.

J is all nonchalant and chill about it, as is his normal attitude regarding pretty much everything in life. I, on the other hand, am freaking out. I know it's no ones fault, but I mean...It's still incredibly frustrating. We bought a new bed the day before we decided on this move. We had already unboxed it and done away with the boxes. We figured putting it together would be pointless, so it has just been sitting against the wall in our bedroom. And I am sick to death of seeing it. I have all these cute and awesome bedroom and organization ideas thanks to Pinterest, and I can't do anything with them until we move! This past week I had been piling boxes by the front door, assuming we would be making our move in a few days. So what do I do now? Do I leave them packed? Do I unpack them? I HATE UNCERTAINTY!!!!!!!!

On a happier note...The friend I wrote about in my last blog post got some good news. She was referred to one of the top specialists in the country, and the prognosis for her Son is not as bad as she was told by her regular doctor. He has a fighting chance!!!! He will have to have many surgeries, some just hours after his birth. It will be a long, hard, expensive road, so if you could find it in your hearts to donate *something*, it will not go unnoticed.

That's all for now. Hopefully my next post will be from a different house!!

Things I don't understand

Tonight, I received an agonizing e-mail. An e-mail I thank my lucky stars I have never had to write.

You know...I bitch and whine a lot about not working right now. Or that I don't currently have a car, or that our move may be postponed by a week or two. But after hearing what I heard tonight, I kind of want to tell myself to 'stfu and get over it, you whiny brat'.

A very dear friend of mine, who is about halfway through her pregnancy with her first child- a little boy, after suffering over 10 miscarriages, found out today that her little boy will probably not survive much longer. He has been diagnosed with a very rare form of Spina-Bifeda. If he is strong enough to make it to term, his life will be very short, and very painful...Full of constant surgeries.

I am so heartbroken for her. There are no words, only tears. This is a cause that hits home to me. I know far too many people who have lost children early on, and I myself have suffered miscarriages.

In a small effort to bring a little hope into her life, I have started a campaign for donations. You can visit the campaign page here. Every little bit helps, and it will NEVER EVER cause the hurt to go away, but I feel it's the least I can do.

I can't even write anymore about this. I just hurt for her...So deeply. Hug your babies extra tight...I know I am.

Bittersweet Memories

Hopefully we will be moving next weekend. Now that it is right on top of us, I am starting to get sad.

So many things happened in this house. J and I met BECAUSE of this house. A mutual friend was helping my roomate and me move furniture in, and enlisted the help of J. It's where we had our first kiss, our first deep conversation, our first fight...A lot of firsts here. It's also where I found out I was pregnant with Mackenzie, and spent my entire pregnancy; and where we brought our daughter home for the first time. And now we are leaving. So I thought it might be nice to share some of my fondest memories of the time we spent here, through pictures.

September 2009- Welcome home!

Living room- J would later be sitting where the highboy is, when we first me

Dining Room- Many a game of flip cup were played on that table.

Kitchen- Where I cooked Josh "the meal that made him fall in love with me"

Best friends and roomates: Our first night in the house.

The first of many fun parties.

Our firs picture as a couple...Taken in kitchen

One of Amanda and Chris' first times hanging out. Little did they know....

Our first Christmas

Our deck in one of the 3 blizzards we had in 2010! 50+ inches!

Our first puppy- K.G!

Josh's 19th birthday, with his KG cake!

J doing what he does best! Spring 2010

The gang all together celebrating Amanda's 21st!

Welcome home Rocky & Rambo! August 2010

My 21st birthday surprise from J! A beautiful landscape! September 2010

SURPRISE!! Baby F is on the way! January 2011

38 weeks pregnant- 1 week before her arrival! September 2011

Welcome home, precious one. You are so loved.

Mackenzie's first snow- October 2011

Mackenzie's first halloween!

Mackenzie's first Christmas!

Finally redecorated the dining room! March 2012

Welcome home Lucky Cash! The toughest little pup in the south!

All because two people fell deeply, madly in love

 So, that's it. The last 3 years in pictures. It hurts a little going through them. Knowing that so many who made up these last 3 years, aren't in our lives anymore. And God, do I wish they were. I found a wonderful quote the other day, It says:


"We all lose friends...we lose them in death, to distance and over time. But even though they may be lost, hope is not. The key is to keep them in your heart, and when the time is right, you can pick up the friendship right where you left off. Even the lost find their way home when you leave the light on." - Amy Marie Walz

 The location may be changing, but the light is always on, Quacker. However long it takes.

Thank you for all of the memories. Each and every person who walked through this front door, has affected our lives, even if in a small way. I couldn't have asked for a better ride!

Get to know me a little better

A 200 question survey for your enjoyment! Only because it's 12:30 am, Kenzie and J are sleeping soundly, and I am hopped up on prescription Vicodin from the dental work I had done.

What's your name?
Ashley

How old are you? When's your birthday?
22, 9-16-1989

What state do you live in?
Maryland

The Top 5 Movies of all time are...
Ghost
Gone with the Wind
Dirty Dancing
The Scarlet Letter
Moulin Rouge

The Top 5 Songs of all time are...
Don't Stop Believin (is there even anything that could compare?!)
Pour Some Sugar on Me
Time of my Life
Wind Beneath my Wings
Will you be There (MJ!)


The Top 5 Music Artists of all time are...
JOURNEY
Bette Middler
Michael Jackson
Whitney Houston
Kristin Chenoweth

Do you read for pleasure? What do you read?
Whatever the current fad is. I'm about to start Fifty Shades of Grey

If you could spend a day with anyone in the world, who would it be?
My Daddy <3

Why would you choose that person?
Because he died when I was 11 and I would give anything to see him again

What would you do with them that day?
Hug him forever.

Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? What's their name(s)?
Yes, Josh

Do you get along with your parents?
I love my mama!

This is question number 13. Do you believe in bad/good luck?
Yes...I have insanely bad luck!

Do you drink?
Yep

Do you smoke cigarettes/cigars?
NEVER. GROSS

Do you use drugs?
Prescription, yes.

Do you have any tattoos?
Nope, but I do plan on getting 1 or 2

Do you have any nicknames?
Sure do!

Saving Private Ryan or Black Hawk Down?
I've only seen a little but of SPR, and have never seen BHD. Soo I guess SPR?

Which movie is the best: Twilight, Titanic, The Notebook
Titanic is a true 90's classic, and those are the best!

Braveheart or Gladiator?
FREEEEEDOOOOOM!! Braveheart! Love me some Mel!

Pearl Harbor or A Walk to Remember
A Walk to Remember

Girls: Brad Pitt or David Beckham?
Ick. I guess Brad Pitt

The Hills or One Tree Hill?
The Hills! Never missed an episode.

Family Guy or The Simpsons
The Simpsons. They are less crude, and honestly, less biased. Seems all FG does these days is attack the Right Wingers.

What's the worst movie you've seen?
Probably Tron. I was literally bored to tears.

What's the worst song you've heard?
Anything by an unintelligible rapper.

What's the worst TV show you've seen?
I can't even think, there are so many

Can you watch golf on TV for over 10 minutes?
Oh hell no.

Can you watch tennis on TV for over 10 minutes?
Nope.

Can you watch poker on TV for over 10 minutes?
I guess if I had to

Can you watch football on TV for over 10 minutes?
Hell yes!!! Redskins and Eagles baby!

When you turn on the TV, what's the first channel you watch?
Does the Guide menu count?

MTV or VH1?
MTV

What's the last song you listened to on repeat?
Hey Pretty Girl by Kip Moore <3

If you could own 5 houses anywhere in the world, where would they be?
Here in my hometown, one where I grew up, A vacation home in Hawaii, One in Georgia just because I love the south so much, and one in New England.

Would you rather travel to Europe or Australia?
Australia, because I have friends there!

Would you rather swim in the ocean or in a pool?
Pool is better for swimming, but the beach is awesome for the sun!

Would you rather take a vacation to the ocean or a lake?
Ocean

What's better, the last day of school or your birthday?
When I was in school, I probably would have said the last day of school. Something about it just
brings out the nice in everyone.

What do you want your career to be when you're older?
Administrative Assistant of a hospital (It's what I'm aiming for now)

Where do you want to live when you're older?
Somewhere in the south!

Do you want to have a spouse? Kids? How many?
Already have the kid thing taken care of, but I do want 1 more. And I want a damn husband more
than anything!!

Favorite season?
Fall

Favorite month?
May

Halloween or Thanksgiving?
Thanksgiving


What do you fear?
Death, Vomit, Change

Would you skydive for $400?
Hell no

If you were on death row, and had one night to live, what would you have for dinner?
Pizza and chocolate

How often do you take a bath/shower?
Everyday, or every other day if I'm too busy with Kenzie

Would you rather be deaf or blind?
Deaf

Are you right handed or left handed?
Right

Saint Patrick's Day or Valentine's Day? 
St. Patty's Day...Celebrating J's heritage, and an excuse to get shitfaced! What's better than that?!

Would you rather be extremely intelligent or extremely rich?
Rich. Does this make me terrible? People don't listen to me anyway, so what's the point of having the intelligence?

Favorite ice cream flavor?
Neopolitan

Think of the most important person in your life. Would you die this very moment to save their life?
Absolutely. Nothing could stop me from saving my Daughter

Have you ever been electrocuted?
No

What color are your eyes?
Blue in summer, grey in winter

What color is your hair?
Depends on what day you catch me! Right now, it's dirty blonde

Have you ever been in a physical fight? Did you win?
Several, and yes!

If you could have one wish, and you couldn't wish for more wishes, what would you wish for?
Complete and utter perfection and happiness for my family

Pancakes or Waffles?
Pancakes

Do you put your arms up when you're on a rollercoaster?
No, I hold on for dear life!

Chris Brown or Usher?
Usher

Salt or Pepper?
Pepper

McDonald's or Burger King?
Burger King

What's worse: a headache or a stomach ache?
Stomach ache

What's worse: a dentist appointment or a doctor's appointment?
dentist definitely!!

If NASA gave you the oppurtunity to go to the moon next week, would you go?
Nope. I had space shit

How many world wars have their been?
2

Favorite Disney movie?
That's a hard one. But probably one of the classics like Cinderella.

Do you like air conditioning or a fan? Both?
A/C!!!

Have you ever drank sweet tea? Did you like it?
Sweet Tea is a staple here in the south!

How do you like your eggs cooked?
Over-easy

Do you like the smell of gasoline?
Sometimes, I actually do.

What's the first thing you do when you wake up?
Pee =)

What were you doing at 5pm yesterday?
Cooking dinner? Oh wait...We went out to dinner....mmm chinese!

Do you make your bed?
LOL! Not nearly as often as I should

Favorite candy flavor (Lemon, Cherry, Grape, Lime, Orange)?
Cherry

Would you rather drown or die from falling?
I think falling. It's over and done with. Drowning is long and dragged out.

Favorite school subject?
Choir

Least favorite school subject?
History

Where were you on September 11th, 2001, at 9am?
7th grade math class. I'll never forget it.

What's your ringtone?
For J It's "Hey Pretty Girl" and for everyone else it's "Somethin bout a truck" Can you tell Kip is my man?

What's the worst color combination?
Red and Blue. Unless it's paired with white for a patriotic holiday.

Favorite color?
Piiiiink!

Would you rather take a bus or a taxi?
Taxi

Would you shave your head for $500?
Hell naw.

What time is it right now where you live?
12:56 am

Have you ever been to West Virginia?
YEP! I live about 30 minutes from the WV line!

Favorite mascot (Lion, Raider, King, Titan, Tiger, Hawk, etc.)?
Eagles baby!!

Are your more afraid of a Grizzly bear or a Great White shark?
Probably bear seeing as they would be more prevalent in my area.

Do you like jokes or riddles?
Jokes

If you could have any car, what would you have?
The newest model Honda CRV or Ford Escape

Would you rather go back to 1985 or forward to 2025?
Definitely go to the 80's!! Regan, and 80's music...What could be better?

Are you sitting still right now?
Yep

What's the last song you heard?
I can't remember...Something on a movie maybe?

Have you ever drank spoiled milk?
ewwwww no.

Favorite type of food (Italian, American, Seafood, Chinese, etc.)?
Italian

Favorite food (Hamburger, Salad, Cow Tongue, Sushi, etc.)?
Anything with CHEESE

Have you ever been in a car accident?
Yep

Favorite Cereal?
Special K

What do you find the most attractive in the opposite sex?
Back and shoulders.

Biggest turn-off?
Smoking, and bad hygiene

Favorite male name?
Forrest

Favorite female name?
Mackenzie (obviously!)

Would you have Osama Bin Laden killed or imprisoned?
I am glad he's dead and burried! Thank you GWB for initiating the search for him, despite all the crap you got!

Have you ever had braces?
Nope.

Have you ever been streaking?
No

Have you ever broken a bone? What?
Nope, but I have torn a ligament.

Do you play any sports? What?
Soccer, Horseback riding, cheerleading

What's cuter: a puppy or a kitten?
Puppy

Would you experience the worst pain in the world for 30 seconds for $1000?
I did. It's called Childbirth. And I experienced it for 27 hours. So does that mean I get 1000$ for every 30 seconds I was in pain? I'll take $3,240,000 please!

You're in a small plane, the pilot dies, and there's one parachute. Do you try to land the plane or jump?
Try to land it.

The traffic light turns yellow. Do you accelerate or slow down?
Depends on how close I am.

It's the middle of the night and you're the only car on the road. Do you run a red light?
Nope

Batman or Superman?
Batman

Are you wearing clothes right now? What are you wearing?
A pink and white polka dot neglige.

What noise do you hear at this very moment?
The A/C turning on

Facebook or Myspace? Do you think you'll ever have the other?
Facebook! Does Myspace even still exist?

I'm standing right behind you. Are you going to turn around?
Nope.

Can you name the NFL team that won the most recent Super Bowl?
Was it the Giants? I think it was.

Favorite comedian?
Nick Swardson is hysterical!

Favorite actor?
Stephen Moyer...Soooo sexy.

Favorite actress?
Mila Kunis.

How long have you gone without sleep?
Too long

Are you on a desktop, laptop or something else?
Laptop

What do you think of Britney Spears?
Love her!

What do you think of Barack Obama?
PUKE BARF GAG..I can't think of anyone more vile.

What do you think of The Jonas Brothers?
ew.

When was the last time you ate?
Around 7 at dinner

Who was the last person to text/call you?
Josh I think?

Do you know the name of Spongebob Squarepants's best friend, who's a starfish?
Patrick. I loathe that show

Breaking News: Russia invades California, Oregon, Washington State, and Hawaii. Would you join the military?
Nope. I'm a pussy.

Apples or oranges?
Oranges

Least favorite chore?
Umm.. everything? LOL. Probably putting away laundry.

When you play chess, do you play with the white or black pieces?
White.

When you play checkers, do you play with the red or black pieces?
Red

Apple juice or Orange juice?
Apple

CSI or Law and Order?
Neither, they bore me

How badly have you injured yourself?
Tore a ligament in my wrist.

Which music artist would you like to see live?
Anyone on Broadway

Last movie you saw in the theatre?
What to Expect when you're Expecting. Cute!

What's the last thing you said outloud?
"I don't believe this!"

What's your most embarassing moment?
Probably the day I decided to go commando to school, and I wore an itty bitty short jean skirt and decided to bend over to pick up my bag right in front of my male music teacher (who I had a BIG crush on). Yeah. Pretty sure he got a good shot.

Coke or Sprite?
DIET coke

Dr. Pepper or Mr. Pibb?
Mr. Pibb actually

Battleship or Monopoly?
Monopoly all the way!

Will Farrell or Adam Sandler?
Adam Sandler. I despise Will Farrell

What type of gum do you chew?
Extra Spearmint.

Would you rather date someone 15 years younger than you or 15 years older?
Older

What slang word do you mainly use for marijuana?
Weed, or Pot

Do you brush your teeth everyday?
Yes!

Favorite type of sandwich?
Tuna with a pickle, or turkey club

What's the backround on your computer?
Nothing.

What's worse: spiders or snakes?
Spiders

If you were to sing a song right now, what's the first to come to mind?
Blown Away by Carrie Underwood

When was the last time you cried?
Earlier tonight

Will Smith or Denzel Washington?
Denzel

Oprah Winfrey or Ellen DeGeneres?
Ellen. I can't stand that hosebeast Oprah

Where were you born?
Philadelphia

What's something people don't know about you that you want them to?
Even though I act like I don't care, it *really* hurts my feelings when people comment on my weight

What came first, the chicken or the egg?
Chicken. God created the animals.

What's your middle name? Do you like it?
Dixon, I love it! It's so southern!

Do you know your mother's birthday? What is it?
We just celebrated it! May 27th!

Do you have your social security number memorized?
Yep

Do you sleep in any clothes?
Usually a nightie

What's the first thing you wash in the shower?
Hair

Do you often rent movies?
I guess you could call it renting. We usually order them On Demand,

What's your main source for listening to music (iPod, Radio, mp3, Internet)?
Internet

Can you use chopsticks properly?
Nope

Could you ever forgive a cheating boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse?
No

Can you handle the truth or do you believe what you want?
A little bit of both.

Who's the most attractive person you've ever seen?
I dont pay attention to looks that much

How attractive do you think you are (1-10)?
About a 5...bump it up to 7 if I dropped all the weight

When was the last time you had to run?
I cant even remember

Best vacation spot?
Anywhere tropical

What do you do to attract the opposite sex?
Just be charming and witty

Favorite day of the week? Why?
Saturday. Because you still have a whole other day off ahead of you!

Least favorite day of the week? Why?
Tuesday. It just serves no purpose.

Do you believe in magic?
To an extent.

How would you like to die?
Peacefully, warm in my bed.

Favorite time of day?
Night!

Are you a morning person or a night person?
^^
What did you want to be when you grew up when you were little?
A singer

Least favorite food?
Onions. Bleck!

What's your favorite childhood memory?
Too many with my daddy

What's something that makes you cringe?
Bugs

What did you do today?
Day-to-day mom stuff, out to dinner with J and his Grandparents. Pretty much it.

Can you use a public restroom?
Only to pee

Would you rather live somewhere that's blazing hot everyday or freezing cold and snowing everyday? 
Snow....I can put more on then I can take off!

Vanilla Ice or MC Hammer? 
Neither.

Chuck Norris or Bruce Lee? 
Chuck Norris.

If you could have one superpower, what would it be? 
Reading Minds

Would you rather lose your dominant arm or a leg? 
Arm.

Would you rather lose your eye sight or hearing?
 Didn't you already ask me this? Hearing.

Have you ever broken the law? How? 
Tons of times! Underage drinking, speeding, I shoplifted once when I was like 13....

If you could be the best at something, what would it be?
 Being a mother and wife

Scentsy Review

So I finally broke down and ordered a Scentsy warmer, and a couple of different scent packs. The warmer I bought is the Heartfelt warmer which looks like

<--------- This






With it, I purchased the scents Warm Apple Pie, Beach, Rio Beach, and Flirtatious. I only really like 2 out of the 4. Warm Apple Pie is a given. It smells wonderfully homey. Like it's Thanksgiving weekend and your Grandma is baking her famous apple pie. But the scent isn't very strong. I can smell it pretty well on my entire first floor, but upstairs I smell nothing. Whenever I burn a candle I can smell it all throughout the house.

The other one I like is the Rio Beach. It doesn't smell like the beach at all to me. Again, it smells very homey and reminds me of Autumn. I don't know where they come up with a beach scent for that. But it does smell good.

Next is Flirtatious. It's a great spring scent. Very floral and sweet. But it kind of just reminds me of when you spray air freshener around your house. The scent is nothing you couldn't get from a bottle of Febreeze.

And last is Beach. I haven't even used this one yet because the scent in the packaging alone makes me gag. I do not like it at all. I can't even describe what it smells like. A mix of wet sand and flowers maybe? It's not for me.

Overall, I am not thrilled with Scentsy and don't really know what all the hype is about. I'm sure there are a bunch more scents that I would love. Happy Birthday is one that comes to mind. But, I just don't know if I am willing to order again and pay the S&H on the off chance that I may like it.

As I said, whenever I burn a candle I can smell it all throughout the house, and for HOURS even after I stop burning it. Yankee Candle is where it's at for me. I did pick up a candle at the grocery store the other day. It's by Village Candle and it's called Maple Butter. Oh my lordness, it is AMAZING. J and I went to dinner and a movie last night and my mom came over to watch Kenzie. She lit the candle when we left, and when we returned 3 hours later, we walked in and it smelled amazing. We blew it out, and even this morning when we woke up, we could still smell it throughout the home. 

So I think I will stick with my favorite Yankee Candles. And for anyone wondering, the YC that I LOVE and burn all year 'round are Hot Apple Cider, Pumpkin Spice, and Autumn Leaves. The only summer scented candle that I LOVE is by Febreeze, and it's a limited edition one called Seaside Escape. It smells like coconuts, oh so good! If you burn any of those, your home is sure to smell amazing and welcoming!

Just a general life update

Where is the time going? Mackenzie will be 8 months old next week. 8 MONTHS! 16 weeks away from being 1 year old. It just boggles my mind. It seems like I was just posting about her smiling for the first time, or learning to roll over. And now I'm posting about her running around the house in her walker, and getting ready to crawl!

She is doing great! She is on strictly table foods and formula now. She is all of a sudden refusing all purees. She likes to "gum up" her food! So basically what we eat, she eats. Her daily schedule is typically:

7am- 7 oz bottle
8:30- some fresh fruit, or oatmeal and fruit, or some puffs, sometimes some scrambled eggs. Then it's playtime!
9:00- Nap time for 2 or 3 hours.
12:00 pm- 6 oz bottle
1:30pm- more fruit, or some steamed veggies, or some bitesize pieces of whatever I am eating if it is baby appropriate. Some puffs as well. Playtime with mama again.
3:00- 6 oz bottle and nap time for 1-2 hours.
5:00- Playtime in walker while mama cooks dinner
6:00- Dinner time! Pieces of whatever we are eating. Usually chicken or pasta and steamed veggies.
7:00- Bath-time, jammies, story-time, 8 oz bottle, and nighty night!
3:00am (give or take)- Wakes once for diaper change and a 4 oz bottle.

Repeat at 7 am the next day!

It doesn't seem like much, but keeping an 8 month old entertained is a full time job!

We have some exciting new developments happening in our life. J and I have been living in a townhouse since we first started dating almost 3 years ago. I own the townhouse with my mother, who is currently living with and taking care of my elderly Grandmother. It's been great living here, but it was built like a piece of crap. It wasn't built properly at all. If we plan on staying here for any considerable length of time (which we do not) we would really need to fix all of these things. And that would just cost money that we don't necessarily have right now. J owns a lot that is about 3 acres, on the outskirts of town. Our plan has always been to build on it in a few years. After discovering all of the issues with our current home, if we paid to fix them, it would take us at least 5-7 years to save up the money we need to build. We just aren't willing to do that. So we have decided to make a bold move. A move that some might considering moving backward and not forward. In about 4 weeks, we will be moving into his parents basement apartment! It's going to save us SO much money and allow us to save up the money we need to build our home in probably a year or so.

We won't have to pay rent, but I'll be taking over handling all the paperwork and office work of the business. So it's almost like I'll have a job again, YAY! And I'll be doing most of the cooking and cleaning, which I don't mind one bit. Kenzie will have to move into our room, but I could care less. It's going to save so much money and pretty soon we'll be in our brand new house and she'll have her own room again.

J's parents are seriously the most wonderful people in the world. I have never met two people who are so generous. His mom is seriously like my best friend. J always laughs, because she and I talk every single day, several times a day. She has to be the best Mother I have ever met. She has worked so hard her entire life to make J into the man he is today. And she did it all on her own. I have so much respect for her and I really look up to her.

Everything else is just rollimg right along. Puppy is doing fantastic and will enjoy the 4 other dogs, and 9+ acres to run around on at J's parents. I am so ridiculously excited to start this chapter of our life! Bring on the boxes and bubble wrap, were movin out!

The Looney Bin