Untitled.

I can't think of a catchy title for this post. Mainly just because this post is a filler...Nothing much worth writing about has happened.

Today is day 4 of Metformin....And I feel...Nothing. I am having virtually no side effects!! Which causes me to wonder if they are even working? The first 2 days I was a little crampy and gassy. But that's it.

However, last night and today I have been getting some wicked bad dizzy spells. I mean, I'm talking "the whole room is spinning" kind of dizzy spells. Any of you Metformin users ever experienced this?

Awesome weekend ahead of me! My best friend just turned 21 on Tuesday, so tomorrow night were celebrating at J's parents house. They live on a 10 acre farm and we live in a townhouse....not the best environment for a 21st birthday party. Everyone gets to drink and have fun and I get to play DD all night! YAY Metformin and stupid Lactic Acidosis.

Were going to be landscaping the yard tomorrow! WOOHOO!! Planting some flowers and getting everything all prettied up! J is a professional landscaper so this will be just another day on the job for him, but for me it's so much fun! Hopefully I'll be getting a good camera tomorrow and I'll take some pictures of the yard, and of the party!

Alright..Back to work...4.5 more hours until my weekend begins!

Scary News

So I had a well woman exam yesterday with a new Dr (who I really like btw). Since I'm a new patient there they had to ask all my medical history and whatnot. They asked me if any cancer ran in my family. Well yeah it does...A lot. When I told them this they suggested I get this new test they just released. It checks for Ovarian Cancer. It's based on a number scale from 0-10. Anything 3 and below is good.

Well, I got the test done and just got the results...My number came back at a 5 which is suspicious. Now, it's not the actual number they they worry so much about...I mean, that still plays a factor, but if the number jumps higher, then they really worry. So now I have to go back every 3 months to check the numbers. If they stay the same or go down, I'm A okay and it could just be the cysts affecting it. But if the numbers jump up, I'll have to get a biopsy done.

I have a sonogram scheduled to make sure there is no tumor or pre-cancerous cells on my ovaries.

I'm 21 years old...I don't want to have cancer...And I don't want to give up my ability to have children. That's like taking away air for me. The one thing I feel I was put on this earth for.

In happier news, Doc finally put me on Metformin!! 500 mg once a day for right now until my body gets used to it. Then we'll go to twice a day. I know I was going to try to do this med free...but my periods are few and far between...I can't live like this! Not to mention the pain that comes along with it. So hopefully this get my PCOS under control and will also help me lose more weight!

So far the side effects are minimal...I've noticed my tummy is a little more bubbly then usual...I'm sure it'll help me right at the most inopportune moment...Like when there isn't a bathroom for miles! Oy.

J has been amazing through this. Something he said to me made me burst into tears...If I didn't love him before, I love him more than anything now...He said "Just promise me something okay? If you do have cancer...Just promise me you'll never give up." We both held each other and cried.

It's going to be sunny and gorgeous this weekend...Maybe we'll plant some flowers.

Slowly but surely.

What a shitty day out. Really. It's cold and rainy. I want the sun back!!

This weekend was one of the best most productive weekends I've had in a long time.

Are ya ready for this little anecdote?

Saturday J and I went and ran a few errands. Then we stopped at the mall just for something to do. Were walking along, having a grand ol' time and we pass by the Zales store. J says to me "You want to go in and look?" I just stared at him with my jaw on the floor. Didn't we just have tift the other day because I thought you were thinking about proposing but you really werent? I managed to mumble a "yeah sure I guess" So I was just looking around and browsing...And then, I saw it....The ring I had seen J looking at online for his friend. So of course a salesman comes over and sees me eyeing it and pulls it out and puts it on my finger...I swear I heard Angels sing. It looked like it was made for my finger. Even J said later "It looked "effing" amazing on you". The poor guy had to practically pry it off of my finger! I didn't want to give it back! The sales guy wrote down all the info on the ring, and J stuck it in his wallet....So WTH am I supposed to think now?! I'm just going to pass it off as J just wanting to see me light up like a Christmas tree. I have to stop over-analyzing things so much. It will happen when it happens.

Saturday night was spent cleaning. It occured to me that I haven't really taken any recent pics of the house! I only got some of the kitchen before my phone died (I really need to invest in a nice camera) so for your viewing pleasure.....

Dining room table with hutch in background

Close up of my little make-shift centerpiece.

Close up of the Hutch and the BEAUTIFUL Dogwood pattern china J's Grandmother bought for us. I'll have to get a better shot of those later.

And the Kitchen....Where I spend most of my time (In case you couldn't tell!)

I'll be posting pics of the rest of the house as soon as I get a hot minute (and hopefully a better camera)

Sunday night J's parents came over for dinner. They are truly some of the most amazing people I have ever met. So down to earth and laid back but so family-oriented. Not to mention J has the sweetest most wonderful Grandparents in the world! They are more like Grandparents to me then my own!

I made my famous Pizza Rustica (Italian Easter Pie) and it was delicious! Maybe I should start posting my recipes on here?? Hmmm...I think I shall!

I made 3 whole pies! Between all of us we finished off 1 and I sent the other 2 home with J's parents. See, I'm sticking to my diet! I'm a good girl!

Speaking of diet, I can see a difference in myself already. My clothes are starting to not be as tight. I'm also taking a multi-vitamin and I am noticing I have a lot more energy then I did before! WOOHOO!

This turned out to be a long blog...Long enough I think!! I'll get more pics up soon!

CONGRATS!!!

Just wanted to say CONGRATS to a couple of my followers who just got their BFP'S!!!!!! Happy and healthy 9 months to you!!! Praying for a sticky bean!!!!!

Egg On My Face

Diet day 2 sucks just as much as day 1.

Breakfast was yummy though! 1 egg over easy on wheat toasts with a piece of fat free cheese mmmmmmmmm! And a glass of V8 juice!

Lunch will be a lean pocket and a Salad

For dinner I'm making Turkey burgers! YUMO!!

Day 1

SUUUUUUUUUUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This morning I told SO that it's like detoxing from drugs!!

I'm hungry.

Here is what I've eaten today:

Breakfast @ 9 AM:

2 scrambled eggs with Salsa
2 pieces of wheat toast with strawberry jam
8 oz of V8 Strawberry Banana juice

Lunch @12:30 PM

1 can of tuna on wheat bread (made with lite mayo and celery seed)
1 cup of mandarin oranges
1 banana

SO is making dinner tonight so I have no idea what that will be. UG I'm starving! I've decided to stray away from doing the SBD so strictly. instead, I'm just going to eat healthy and use a lot of the recipes from the book.

It's not even 3 yet and I'm stuck at work till 7:30....I'm going to diiiiiiiiie!!

Wedding wedding weddding wedding pictures pictures ring ring ring babies babies babies. Gotta have willpower!!!

Tomorrow

Tomorrow I am starting the South Beach Diet! I'm so excited! I did this back in 2003 and lost about 17 lbs in 2 weeks. The only reason I stopped is because it's a tad bit on the expensive side with all the food you have to buy, and there is a lot of cooking involved (something I didn't know how to do when I was 14).

Now that I have a substantial paycheck and actually know how to cook, I feel confident that I can keep up with it this time!

I have made a grocery list that is 1 mile long...My bank account is going to love this trip! SO and I are going tonight to get everything. He is such a big help =) He's actually the reason I've lost this weight in the first place.

When I first met him, I had known I wanted to lost weight. He encouraged me by paying for us to join a gym together. Mind you, we weren't even dating yet! Just friends, but he knew I wanted to get in shape and offered to motivate me! What a sweetie =) He also had just lost about 60 lbs. He used to be a big guy, but one day just got fed up with it. He started working out every day and eating better and voila! He looks amazing now!

The SBD has really good food. One particular meal I remember from it is a tuna salad dish...Delicious!

The only thing that worries me about all this is my schedule at work has changed. I now work from 11:30 - 7:30. That'll put me home at 8. If I'm supposed to be cooking all these meals I probably wont be eating to close to 9! That's almost bedtime for me! I guess what I can do is maybe on the weekends, cook all my meals for that week, and just reheat!

I'm really excited about this and feel very motivated! I'm even being a good girl today. Anytime I've ever decided to start a diet I would always say "Well, since this is my last day before the diet, I guess I can pig out and eat anything and everything in sight!" Not this time! Today for lunch I went to Subway and got tuna on wheat, a bag of baked chips, and a bottle of water. That's it! No foot longs, no soda, no cookies...All things I loved eating before! Believe me...It was a little hard to only order a 6 inch. But I think back to this time last year, I could EASILY eat 2 foot longs....Yes my friends, I said 2 foot longs. That is dispicable. No female on this planet should be able to eat that much in one sitting. Not only is it unhealthy, it's just not very lady like. The first 2 weeks of this diet is designed to shrink your stomach so that by the time you get to the second phase, you won't feel so hungry all the time.

After SO gets over his little sinus infections (Poor guy has been so miserable. Keeps coughing so hard it makes him throw up!) we'll start back up at the gym! Plus, it's almost summertime! I need to start getting my tan on =)

I know I can do this!!!

Time to Get Serious

I really need to get back on track with this weightloss!

If I ever intend on getting engaged/married one day in the near future, I do not want this experience to be like my last engagement experience. When I was engaged to the Ex, I was at my heaviest of 230 lbs. Believe me....Trying on wedding dresses at 5'0" and 230 lbs. is a NIGHTMARE. With every beautiful dress I tried on, all I could see was the fat heffer wearing them. Not to mention the fact that trying to find the dress of your dreams in a size 20 isn't easy. I have a very specific dress in mind. I want the princess ballgown look. and with my figure, it just ain't happening. but I am determined!

Also...Wedding pictures. I don't want my wedding pictures to turn out like my senior prom pictures. They were so terrible that I actually hid them from all my family and friends. Not one person saw any of my prom pictures. A lot of overweight and short gals photograph very nicely! I am so jealous of those girls. I just look like a Weeble-Wobble. I have a million chins in every picture I take. Wedding pictures are forever. Something I will show my children and grandchildren. I don't want to cry whenever I have to show one.

So with all of this in mind, I'm taking control of my weight! I figure SO probably won't pop the question for at least 2-3 years. I would LOVE to be able to get down to my cheerleading days weight which was 120 lbs. So that's about 70 lbs....That's sooo doable! But even just to get down to 150-140 range would be amazing!

I can do this, I know I can! I just need the willpower and support! From here on out it's nothing but salads and chicken! No more soda, just water and tea. I just have to remind myself how much I love SO. And how I want him to be proud of me, and be able to say "That's my beautiful wife" on our wedding day! I have to do this for not only myself, but for him too!

Our Boring Life

Nothing much to report here. I haven't been to the gym in God knows how long. I really need to get back. SO and I have been old fuddy duddy's and going to bed at like 10 pm at the latest during the week. I can understand him doing that. He worked 60+ hours this week, poor guy. He leaves for work at 6:30 in the morning and sometimes doesnt get back until 8:30 or 9 at night. Doesn't give us very much time together, but I'm happy just to be sleeping next to him at night =)



He's such a sweet man. He even bought me a new laptop "Just because!". Awww. He gives me warm fuzzies inside =)


Okay this post has turned into a ridiculous lovey gushy mess.


We celebrated out 6 month anniversary on the 14th! I still can't believe 6 months ago I found the man of my dreams, without even meaning to! I had just gotten out of a horrible 7 year relationship with a guy who was 2 years older than me, hadn't worked in almost 3 years, didn't have a car or drivers license cause he too scared to drive, and all he did was play videogames. I used to think THAT was the man I was going to marry.

SO has been talking a lot about the future...Like marriage and kids and stuff...hmmmm....???? Could it be he's thinking of.........NAH!!!!

Alright, we have stuff to do around the house today! I hope the nice weather stays with us and it warms up a bit! I wanna get out in the dirt!

Best. Surprise. EVER!

SO's party was AMAZING! *pats self on back*. I was so worried things were not going to pan out, but it turned out better than I had ever imagined! Here's how the day went down.

I left here at noon and did all the shopping I needed to do. While I was out I kept texting SO about how sick and crappy I felt and how I just couldn't wait to get home and lay down. I even threw in a "I'm sorry I'm not going to be able to go out and do anything with you today *sniff sniff*" He totally bought it!

I came home with a grill and told him it was a little early birthday present. His friend came over to help put the grill together. Here is where I started to get a leeeetle nervous. They were having trouble putting the grill together. I had already gotten the "Call" from my mom that I needed to go pick up the Meds for Grandma-ma! Because I was so "sick" Josh graciously agreed to do it...What a sweet guy =). However, his mom was coming over around 4:30 with the cake and to help me set up...It was 4:10 and SO and friend were still working on the damn grill!!!! AHHH! I worriedly looked over at his friend and did the whole "head jerk toward the door" movement to signal they needed to get the hell outta there. Finally, at 4:20 they finished and rolled out!

I then started running around like a mad woman trying to get the food set up and everything. Not 5 minutes after they left SO's mom showed up with the cake! She helped me get everyting set up, more people started showing up. YES! This was actually going to work!

I was a little bummed...Normally for social functions I like to get all dolled up and look my best...Nope. I was in sweats, had my hair in a messy bun, and had absolutely NO make up on. I looked like death. But I just didn't have time to get ready...SO says he likes me better without makeup anyway...Liar.

What happened next.....I still crack up thinking about it. It was just the best timing ever. We all saw SO pull up in front of the house...SO's dad decides at the last minute to make this surprise "extra" special....He walked over to the door and as SO started to open it, he put his foot there to stop him and says in a paniced tone "Hold on! I don't have my clothes on yet! Ashley, are you dressed yet?!" OH.MY.GOD. SO's friend who went to Walmart with him, said SO turned bright red and he could just see the fire in his eyes. SO THREW open the door in a rage and we all yelled "SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I wish I had gotten a damn picture of the look on his face. It was priceless. It was a combination of confusion, relief, and surprise.

After hugs and laughs were exchanged we all gathered out on the deck for the most amazing party ever! SO had such a good time. He was so surprised and very touched.

The cake was absolutely AMAZING! And yes I have pictures that I will post! So all in all this was a very successful party! I'm so happy it went off without a hitch!

The cake! Isn't it AMAZING?!

Side shot

We forgot birthday candles so our moms used their lighters! HA!

SO cutting the first piece!

Thank God for Small Blessings!

Today is the day of SO's surprise party!! WOOHOO!! I've been absolutely PANICING about this stupid cake. I ended up deciding to do it myself. That part wasn't the problem. The problem was, thinking of a ligitimate, believable reason to tell SO as to why I needed to be out of the house for a few hours so I could go to my Aunt's and bake the cake! He and I are never apart, unless were both at work. He would have been verrrrry suspicious.

Well, enter SO's mom.... Turns out one of her best friends is a cake decorator, and said she would be more than happy to do the cake for me!! *Angels sing* HALLELUJAH! I got an email from her late last night saying the cake was finished and looked AWESOME! I will definitely be posting pictures!

So now I'm at work...Panicing about more things..Like how the HELL I'm going to get him out of the house today. I mean...I have a plan...I just hope he isn't a stubborn ass like he usually is and pisses and moans about it.

The plan is for my mom to "call" me and say she needs me to go pick up my Grandmothers meds at Walmart. She's at work so she can't get them. I'm going to say how sick I feel and that I don't feel like going out...Then I'll give Josh my big puppy dog eyes and ask him to PLEASE go pick them up. Our Walmart is a good 20 minutes away. I'll get the "call" around 4ish, he'll probably leave around 4:15 and everyone will be at the party by 5! I'm just hoping he cooperates. The best part about this is that my Grandmother really DOES have meds that need to be picked up there...So it's not like he's going for nothing! He's actually doing us a favor =)

I get off work at Noon today. I still have to go to Costco, get all the whores-ovaries (hors d'oeuvres...Whores-Ovaries is a little family joke) pick up a cheap little charcoal grill at the dollar store (Big spender!) and pick up his birtday gift at the mall! Oy...He better not know about this...I have a feeling he does....But I'm going to be SUPER pissed if he's not surprised.

Lots of pictures to come later!! Wish me luck and pray SO isn't stubborn and goes along with the plan!!!!

We are Family

What a freaking weekend this has been. The events that have taken place this weekend are the kind of thing that you just sit down, look back on, and think "Did this really just happen?"

SO and I have been very happy in our cozy little home, just the 2 of us. When he first moved in, my best friend was my roomate. So it didn't really feel like OUR place, you know? Then she decided to go back to school and move back in with her parents while doing so, to save money. SO and I were so happy to finally be able to call it our place! Things had been great since February. It's been pure bliss....The this weekend happened.

My mother lives with my Grandmother. My Grandmother has been sick for the last few years and unable to take care of herself. My mom does everything for her, cooks, cleans, takes care of all bills, errands...etc... Since the day my mom moved in, she's been treated like SHIT by my Grandmother. I won't go into the details of what she's had to pull up with, but it's been pretty terrible. Well, finally things came to a head on Thursday night.

An argument between them insued pertaining to my moms little brother...the youngest of all 5 kids. Now, my Grandmother treats him like he's still sucking her tit. She pays his mortgage every month, paid for ALL 4 of his weddings, paid for his latest honeymoon to mexico, paid for his latest wife's engagement ring, sends him a check every month for at leats 2k...It's insane. And then she turns around and cries poor saying she can't help anyone else...

Now you can't say ANYTHING bad or negative about him, or there will be hell to pay. And I guess my mother did. Well my "Sick" Grandmother apparently had enough strength to push my mom down the steps!!! HOLY HELL!! So my mom, falling backwards, as a natural reflex grabbed onto her wrists. My Grandmother decided to use this to her advantage and CALLED THE POLICE claiming she was being abused.

The police saw no signs of physical abuse...and honestly, they noticed that my Grandmother's story just didnt add up. So they didnt do anything to my mom. But now my mom has moved in with SO and I. *sigh*

Don't get me wrong...I'm not mad at my mom or anything. I mean, what kind of daughter would I be to let my mother stay in an environment like that? But at the same time...SO and I were finally getting really settled...taking about marriage, a family, all that. I don't know how this will affect things now. But hopefully it's just temporary...We shall see!!!

Spring is Bliss

Did you ever just have one of those days in the midst of a terrible time that you just stop and say "Wow...Things aren't as bad as they seem"? Yeah...That is today for me.

I woke up early...Like 6:45! That is crazy for me considering I don't have to leave for work until 10 am and I am NOT a morning person at all.

I fed the dogs, took them for their walk, came back and cleaned the house, showered, got ready and then hit the road.

And it just seems like today, everyone is in a good mood! SO has been especially sweet and caring lately. Very attentive and very optimistic. He's been talking about the future a lot...OUR future. Hmmm....Dare I think that the big question is coming sometime in the near future?? I do I do! He apparently has some big trip planned for us in June. He will not tell me where though....Just that were going in June. I found this out because we had chinese the other night and my fortune cookie said "You will be traveling to many places soon". And SO said "Wow...You're fortune is spot on today!" I looked at him confused because I hadn't been planning on going anywhere. Finally, I got the June part out of him but he's remaining silent on the where part....Grrrrr!!!! I'm not good with surprises...I hate not knowing!

The weather is amazingly gorgeous today and will be from here on out. I was particularly thrilled that accuweather changed April 10th's forecast to "Warmer and plenty of sunshine" with a high of 70! YESSSS! Success!! SO's party may not be a pooper after all! I can't wait for this party. I've never thrown a surprise party before, so this will be nice for me too =)

I'm still having trouble with the cake though. All the major bakeries around here either are charging to much, or don't have enough time to do the cake. So I'm thinking of just going to the local grocery store and asking if they can just do the cake in the shape of a KG bottle. Not sculpted like I had originally wanted. Hopefully they will do it...And if not, then I guess I'll have to attempt the cake myself....Cooking I can do....Cooking I am good at...A baker I am not. If this is the case, I'll be sure to post pictures of the nightmare later.

Okay...time to get back to work!